A Contentious Woman

an old house 2

 

If a Virtuous Wife is a wife that is working with and for her husband as unto the Lord, then the opposite of that is most certainly a contentious woman. God created Eve as a helper suitable for Adam; a woman that would assist man in his endeavors to take dominion over the earth and subdue it.

This woman that God so graciously gave Adam was designed perfectly for him. She was intended to be compatible. And I can’t imagine what Adam thought when he first saw her. It was perfect. She was perfect. God’s design was perfect.

And then…of course, we know the story…

Sin entered the world and God put rivalry between man and woman, the woman became infected with the desire to rule over her husband. If you are married, then you know that this curse is still alive and well in mankind. We see the effects of it in the world. We see the role reversals more prominently all the time. Just flip on your television and watch a couple commercials. The “men” on these commercials are not biblical men. They are lap dogs. They are the product of a world gone wrong. The women have become the power brokers. They are the ones we are asked to look to for guidance, and decision making.

God made women beautiful, and He made them strong, but He also made them a weaker vessel. He made them like fine china, but yet with a different type of strength. Men you know what I mean, and only a fool, would not recognize the immense treasure of a godly wife, and the amazing gift she is to her husband.

Why the issues? Why is there contention? And more importantly how does a godly woman become a woman of virtue?

The Proverbs tell us much about the difficulty in living with this woman.

Better to dwell in a corner of a

housetop,

Than in a house shared with a

contentious woman. – Proverbs 21:9

 

 

Better to dwell in the

wilderness,

Than with a contentious and

angry woman. – Proverbs 21:19

Do we notice that “angry” was added in verse 19? Not only is this woman contentious but she is also angry. She wants to strive against her husband, and she’s angry with him? Does she have just cause to be angry? Perhaps, but we must also identify the source of anger.

If she’s angry for any other reason than God’s glory, then she’s sinfully angry and more likely than not the anger is selfish. Oh, I know we can find reason to believe she’s angry for righteous reasons, but we must examine the motives, deeply and with a self focus, as opposed to a “him” focus. Side note: ladies, wives, I didn’t say he was perfect, and we’ll deal with him another day, but let’s keep it where it needs to be for now.

A continual dripping on a very

   rainy day

And a contentious woman are

   alike;

Whoever restrains her

restrains the wind,

And grasps oil with his right

hand. – Proverbs 27:15-16

Look at the absurdity of trying to restrain a contentious woman. Is it impossible to restrain the wind, or hold oil in your hand? Have you known wives like this? Have you been a wife like this, or are you a wife like this?

What is the answer? This really is a dividing line between a woman that desires godliness and one that seeks her own way. The word of God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart and no creature is hidden from His sight.

The wise woman builds her

   house,

But the foolish pulls it down

with her hands. – Proverbs 14:1

This tells a story, about what’s at the heart of the matter. Wisdom or foolishness…salvation or condemnation… I’m not saying this will look like sinless perfection, but in the heart of a wise woman, there will be progress in her Christian walk, and I’m writing today, to those that profess Christianity. I realize how foolish this will be for the unbelieving woman. You hold the power in your hands to help form your husband into a more godly man if he is a believer. You can build him up, or tear him down with your own hands. And if he is not a believer you can push him further away from your profession of Christianity, or drive him to it.

You might be fine china, but you have more power than you can even imagine, and if you are Christ’s you must use it for His glory, not for your own purposes. I realize many of you have made mistakes, and been a poor witness for the Lord, but there is hope. You must repent of your past sins, and seek Christ diligently, and He will rebuild your house, unless you labor in vain.

 

Kevin

Discipline…

discipline

What a distasteful subject is the topic of church discipline, does anyone like correction?

Well that depends…

It depends upon the condition of your heart.

Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days. – Proverbs 19:20

Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool. – Proverbs 17:10

A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, nor will he go to the wise. – Proverbs 15:12

How much better to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. – Proverbs 16:16

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. – Proverbs 13:20

What else must I do to convince you that God’s word is what we must use to gain wisdom? What else matters, and as the verse states above this is better than gold and should be chosen over silver.

God has not left us to stumble around in the dark without counsel. He has spoken on the matter of church discipline and has given the church direction. The scriptures are not silent on this subject, but the bigger questions are these…are we willing to listen, are we willing to heed the counsel?

Jesus clearly and perfectly lays out the formula. The church is to follow the example and sin must be dealt with in the church, or the church becomes polluted.

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.” – Matthew 18:15-17

This is pretty clear isn’t it?

What is the purpose of this; can we see what Jesus desires in this instruction? He desires restoration. The goal is to bring the one in sin to a place of understanding their sin; a place of brokenness over their sin, so they can be restored to their brother.

This is being lived out in the life of the church that I attend. My wife, my eldest daughter and I are members and we dearly love the people in our church. It’s heart breaking to see sin in the lives of people. It’s even more heartbreaking to know that unless that sin is forsaken and turned from it will destroy. That’s what Satan does! He came to destroy people and he does it in the most sinister and deceitful ways possible.

Others in my church love this man and below is a letter that was written as the church is telling this man of his sin. It is our hope and our desire that this will restore the man to a right relationship with God.

It is our desire that if he is a brother, he will confess his sin and forsake his sin, if he is not a brother that he will repent and believe in Jesus Christ as his only hope for salvation. I post this that he will be ashamed of his sin and that others might read it, be ashamed of their sin, and come to repentance.

This problem is rampant in the “church world”. It’s not a victimless crime. It’s heinous and it’s ugly.

And if they are bound in

fetters,

Held in the cords of affliction,

Then He tells them their work

and their transgressions—

That they have acted defiantly.

He also opens their ear to

instruction,

And commands that they turn

from iniquity.

If they obey and serve Him,

They shall spend their days in

prosperity,

And their years in pleasures.

But if they do not obey,

They shall perish by the sword,

And they shall die without

knowledge. – Job 36:8-12

 

Kevin

 

I know a Man…

 

That he might be broken and ashamed:

On nights when he is angry with his wife, she goes to sleep in their bedroom. Meanwhile he sits in his living room, just a few feet from his bride-only a wall apart-browsing depictions of harlots, picking the ones that please him the most, displaying them on his screen and having sex with them using his self. It feels good to him, helps him to relax, so he does it again or another time. He knows it is sinful, but he isn’t broken by it so he doesn’t repent. It’s not really adultery he says. He won’t tell his wife. He knows it’s wrong but he doesn’t feel saddened over it, so he does it again. His only son sleeps soundly upstairs, unharmed so the man thinks. Yet he does not know God may require the life of the child for sin such as this. He took David’s child for this, yet the man fears God not.

He comes into the sanctuary of God’s people on Sunday’s. He will not open his mouth to sing praises to God. But repent- I think not- he just doesn’t feel like it. He won’t look at the preacher, for he despises that man, sure he led him to Christ, but he’s wronged him since then. I want to ask this man, would you pick up a knife and slit the throat of your son for this preacher who wronged you? Would you slay your son for that man who you think despises and rejects you? Have you forgotten o man that God sees your adultery? That this God sees your lack of praise, lack of love for the saints, sees your lack of time in the word, and yet still shows you His love?

God sends His people to plead with the man, turn, turn from your sin, lest the Lord reject you. This God sees your sin- takes His only son- and slays Him. He drains Jesus’ blood on the wastelands, opens His side and rejects Him; Pours out His wrath and His righteous indignation, upon the perfect lamb, the great I am, don’t you remember? Wasn’t it for your sin? Will you continue to reject Him? Christ died for sins, will you continue to live in them?

Some people confront him on his sin when his conscience overbears him to report it. Repent of it- no- but agree that it’s sinful- yes. I’m just being honest says the man, I can’t turn cause you told me, or I don’t want to deny feelings. Little does he know his flesh is destroying him.  He sees his wife and child, and loves them he thinks, but show them Christ in Him-maybe he will get to that next week.

This man is hardened-stiff necked, his sin spreads and spreads. He lives it, breathes it, chews it, and loves it. Love the saints? No time for that. Preach the Gospel? Who needs it. Serve the body? They don’t deserve it. But I deserve my sin says the man, after all, who are they to tell me it’s sinful? The proverbs warn him. Destruction and calamity await him- will he turn yet from his sin? I think not. He just doesn’t feel it…

You are that man… Repent and turn to Christ and you will be forgiven.