A Contentious Woman

an old house 2

 

If a Virtuous Wife is a wife that is working with and for her husband as unto the Lord, then the opposite of that is most certainly a contentious woman. God created Eve as a helper suitable for Adam; a woman that would assist man in his endeavors to take dominion over the earth and subdue it.

This woman that God so graciously gave Adam was designed perfectly for him. She was intended to be compatible. And I can’t imagine what Adam thought when he first saw her. It was perfect. She was perfect. God’s design was perfect.

And then…of course, we know the story…

Sin entered the world and God put rivalry between man and woman, the woman became infected with the desire to rule over her husband. If you are married, then you know that this curse is still alive and well in mankind. We see the effects of it in the world. We see the role reversals more prominently all the time. Just flip on your television and watch a couple commercials. The “men” on these commercials are not biblical men. They are lap dogs. They are the product of a world gone wrong. The women have become the power brokers. They are the ones we are asked to look to for guidance, and decision making.

God made women beautiful, and He made them strong, but He also made them a weaker vessel. He made them like fine china, but yet with a different type of strength. Men you know what I mean, and only a fool, would not recognize the immense treasure of a godly wife, and the amazing gift she is to her husband.

Why the issues? Why is there contention? And more importantly how does a godly woman become a woman of virtue?

The Proverbs tell us much about the difficulty in living with this woman.

Better to dwell in a corner of a

housetop,

Than in a house shared with a

contentious woman. – Proverbs 21:9

 

 

Better to dwell in the

wilderness,

Than with a contentious and

angry woman. – Proverbs 21:19

Do we notice that “angry” was added in verse 19? Not only is this woman contentious but she is also angry. She wants to strive against her husband, and she’s angry with him? Does she have just cause to be angry? Perhaps, but we must also identify the source of anger.

If she’s angry for any other reason than God’s glory, then she’s sinfully angry and more likely than not the anger is selfish. Oh, I know we can find reason to believe she’s angry for righteous reasons, but we must examine the motives, deeply and with a self focus, as opposed to a “him” focus. Side note: ladies, wives, I didn’t say he was perfect, and we’ll deal with him another day, but let’s keep it where it needs to be for now.

A continual dripping on a very

   rainy day

And a contentious woman are

   alike;

Whoever restrains her

restrains the wind,

And grasps oil with his right

hand. – Proverbs 27:15-16

Look at the absurdity of trying to restrain a contentious woman. Is it impossible to restrain the wind, or hold oil in your hand? Have you known wives like this? Have you been a wife like this, or are you a wife like this?

What is the answer? This really is a dividing line between a woman that desires godliness and one that seeks her own way. The word of God is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart and no creature is hidden from His sight.

The wise woman builds her

   house,

But the foolish pulls it down

with her hands. – Proverbs 14:1

This tells a story, about what’s at the heart of the matter. Wisdom or foolishness…salvation or condemnation… I’m not saying this will look like sinless perfection, but in the heart of a wise woman, there will be progress in her Christian walk, and I’m writing today, to those that profess Christianity. I realize how foolish this will be for the unbelieving woman. You hold the power in your hands to help form your husband into a more godly man if he is a believer. You can build him up, or tear him down with your own hands. And if he is not a believer you can push him further away from your profession of Christianity, or drive him to it.

You might be fine china, but you have more power than you can even imagine, and if you are Christ’s you must use it for His glory, not for your own purposes. I realize many of you have made mistakes, and been a poor witness for the Lord, but there is hope. You must repent of your past sins, and seek Christ diligently, and He will rebuild your house, unless you labor in vain.

 

Kevin

Woman of Virtue?

avirtuous

This past week I had the privilege to hear some of the finest Bible Expositors that are around today. The men that God has given wonderful gifts, to exhort and edify the body of Christ.   I’ve learned much from these men, and I also have much to learn. I came away knowing how little I really know about God and His word. I realized I’m a man that has devoted the majority of his life, to worthless things.

I look back down the road from my salvation in 2009 and I understand I’ve come a long way, but yet I see a great mirage that I continue to chase and it just keeps getting further away. I’m thankful that is the case. It causes me to hunger and thirst all the more, yet it is sometimes overwhelming in my desire to know truth. Not just for the sake of knowledge, but so that when I bow before my Lord, I will know Him already, yet I desire to know Him so much more.

That is the way the Christian life is meant to be, and I was stunned to hear one of the men say this very thing, a man that from my perspective knows more than I will ever know, or could ever know in several lifetimes. He knows Hebrew and Greek and even speaks them fluently and reads in them.

Among all the amazing sermons, something was said by Paul Washer that really struck me. It was almost a side note. A little blurb on the end or at the start of something that I’m sure for most people was not noticeably significant. But it hit me, and I know it hit others, as I’ve heard testimony about how it affected them. He said this about his wife, and I’m going to paraphrase. He said that in 20 some years of marriage his affection and love for his wife has grown, and that has primarily been because she has grown in virtue. Her growth in virtue has allowed him to love her more.

This is really an incredible statement, because her growth has caused growth in her husband. It’s a mutually dependent relationship. She depends on him, he depends on her. When they are working together there is much more forward motion. Much more ground is gained; all to the glory of God, but how He blesses them in this relationship and this growth.

Who can find a virtuous wife?

For her worth is far above

   rubies.

The heart of her husband safely

   trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life. – Proverbs 31:10-12      

To really understand this wife of Proverbs 31 we must understand what it means to be virtuous. The Hebrew word is chayil : strength, might, efficiency, wealth, army

No wonder she is hard to find, this is not the meaning of what most think is virtue. Most think that it’s more like chaste, almost graceful or elegant, or simply revolves around her moral character. She no doubt is of the highest moral degree, but that is not at all the biblical concept of virtue. Virtue is all about the strength, might and efficiency of a woman. She’s an army wife. She knows how to get things done, and she doesn’t just sit and consume resources. She’s sturdy… and faithful to her tasks.

If her commander needs her to take a hill, she takes the hill. We must understand who it is she’s working for. “The heart of her husband safely trusts her…” She’s a kept woman; she knows that it is her husband that she is to fulfill and to complete, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-23). She is a helper. How radically different from the modern concept of the strong woman? She’s strong for sure, but her strength is not for her own benefit, her own fulfillment, and her own desires. She’s strong and independent, but not for her own benefit, it’s for the benefit of another.

What a contrast…

Next post, we will take a look at the virtuous woman’s counterpart, the woman that mostly resembles the world today. We will see a stark difference between these two.   We must then consider what is the difference? Why?

Kevin