I decided on the spur of the moment that this article needed to be written. Not because I have anything important to say, or anybody important will read it, but because maybe someday the information will be useful to me. I serve as a Deacon in a small Reformed church in a semi-small town on the east side of nowhere Iowa. I don’t know why I felt compelled to write, but I think it’s important among the cacophony of voices I say my piece.
I don’t know Tullian and I don’t know anybody that does. I’ve never heard him preach, but I’ve observed his life from a distance for a few years. I’ve not even been saved as long as he’s been a pastor most likely, so why do I have the authority to write about him? Because I think God’s word speaks clearly about his life and he should listen. If he could hear my words, or read what I write I would want him to know a few observations I’ve had and what I think he should do moving forward.
Some of you probably don’t know of him or probably don’t know what I’m talking about but Tullian Tchividjian is the grandson of Billy Graham. He had been going through some marital issues and it was revealed that affairs had occurred within the marriage. Mutual affairs. A very sad and awful thing for a family to go through and especially for the children, nobody sees the devastation of sin from the before pictures, only the after.
Tullian is well known, in many circles, for what most would say are Antinomian tendencies. He doesn’t seem to worry, or focus as much on living a holy life as he focuses on the grace of God. What I write is well documented in other places, and I care not to write about it here, but for some of us that cared this was a shipwreck waiting to happen.
A couple days ago it appears he has filed to divorce his wife and with that as the backdrop here are the things I would say to Tullian if I ever had a chance. I will write to him as a brother since I’m not aware that he has denied the faith, but his actions are questionable at best. Regardless, I’ll treat him as if he is indeed in the faith for the time being.
Don’t Divorce – I don’t know if Tullian knows that God hates divorce? I would imagine he has read the Scripture, but this is imperative; does he not remember he made a covenant with God?
…Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” – Malachi 2:14-16
Get Wise Counsel – I have no idea how the leadership of his church plans to restore this man, and he may very well need to seek someone outside of this body. That would indeed be a travesty if he cannot find men that would tell him the truth and not what he wants to hear.
Where there is no counsel, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety. – Proverbs 11:14
It seems if there was good counsel in the first place, this may have turned out differently, but I don’t know the structure of his church, I hope they will learn from this.
He Needs to go Dark – Get off social media! I’ve seen some of his tweets and other things floating around, and for the life of me I don’t see a man that is broken by his sin, but a man that appears to believe God is visible in the clouds. God is visible in His written word, and this is where he needs to have his face buried.
Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.
His Elders should put a restraining order on his activities and have him in intensive biblical counseling along with a thorough examination of what went wrong. This didn’t happen overnight. It was playing out in front of us all.
Repent in Biblical Fashion – David was a murderer and an adulterer, and many Christians are quick to point this out. Yes, of course, we know that, but look at how David handled his sin. We see a disturbing pattern among “celebrity” Christians and that is to acknowledge their “mistakes” but never repent of their wicked and evil hearts.
For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight… Psalm 51:3-4
For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. – 2 Corinthians 7:10
Endeavor to lead a Quiet Life – This goes along with getting out of the spotlight. It would appear he enjoys the attention and that will always keep him where he cannot focus on God, because he wants to focus on himself. He should flee attention, go spend a month in a cabin. I know of one if he needs a place to go. Better yet go serve the poor somewhere in some third world country and don’t tell anybody but your Elders where you are going. Drop your phone in the toilet on the way to the airport.
…that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior. – 1 Timothy 2:3-4
Realize his Wretched Condition – Tullian is a sinful man. I am a far more sinful man than he is, and I can easily prove it. I expect he grew up in a very moralistic fashion, just like Josh Duggar. I was a fine sinner, perhaps as good as almost anyone and by the grace of God He picked me up and breathed His precious Spirit into my dead, cold heart. I don’t know if Tullian realizes his deplorable state. Perhaps he does, and I just don’t see it coming out of his mouth, but I confess that I don’t hang on every word he says, so I may have missed it. Can he echo what Paul said, what I say about myself?
This is a faithful saying and worthy of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. – 1 Timothy 1:15-16
What a proclamation by Paul! Do you realize this? Do I realize this when I think highly of myself? Do I realize that pride comes before a fall, and that by the grace of God and that grace alone, He keeps me from falling off the cliff every day? Oh the riches of His mercy, how amazing they are, for wretched sinners just like me and I hope for a wretched sinner like Tullian.