Damage Control

Posted on by kevinjandt

It has now been over three years since Grace Fellowship responded to the various blog articles I’ve written about them and the podcasts done through Apologetics Live that highlighted the abuses and distortions in their teaching. They responded using an unusual method. They created a fairly well-produced private video. It actually is a good strategy. They don’t open themselves up to scrutiny by someone like me, but they can send it to the appropriate people with questions about their ministry.

I have sought to proclaim the truth of what happened to us and many others during our time at GFC. For those who might be new, we spent nine years at the church under the “authority” of Mike Reid and the eldership of GFC. We came to see the abuses, domineering society, and cult behaviors of what parades itself as an orthodox Baptist, 1689, Reformed Church. I’ve written many articles on the topic, all available for scrutiny and criticism. I have nothing to hide. I also have the required two to three witnesses to bring the charges, followed by at least another hundred who would affirm my charges and concur that these things do occur.

Not everyone agrees with me, which is the point of this article, but first, I’ve noticed a new attempt at damage control by the GFC brain trust. I looked up the term damage control, and the best description is “measures taken to offset or minimize damage to reputation, credibility, or public image caused by a controversial act, remark, or revelation.”[1]

Having a good reputation is important. According to Paul, it is a qualification for the office of elder in a Christian Church. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil (1 Tim. 3:7).

There are several interesting points regarding this verse. A man’s reputation in church leadership matters to people outside the church community. He is expected to have a good reputation. He should be a good neighbor to those who live near him. He should be well thought of by those who hear of him, and all this predicts how he will behave inside the church and in his private life. He should be an upright and a stable man.

I have had more than my fair share of conversations regarding Grace Fellowship’s leadership and its principal leader, Mike Reid. One would be hard-pressed to find glowing reviews of his character among the non-believing and church communities. His reputation does not meet the requirements listed above, and his reputation does, indeed, precede him. I’ve made this argument before, along with several other qualifications mandated by the Apostle Paul. Will anyone see it within the GFC community? Unlikely.

This brings me to the main point: if your reputation is known (Proverbs 20:11), and Mike Reid’s reputation is well-known, you should improve your reputation somehow. Recently, they came up with an idea to write an article titled “In Case You Googled Us,” a friend told me they were showing up at certain college campuses. People would Google them and then confront them over their wacky behavior. Others we’ve known of had even mentioned they did Google searches, and the negative press was overwhelming. The article is well-written in its form, but it is distorted and inaccurate. Given the writing style, it leads me to believe it was written by Tony Miano, and since Tony doesn’t know all the details of our history at GFC, I can understand how he has been influenced to believe what he wrote. I wrote a response to set the record straight on one significant error, which continues to be repeated, as if telling a lie more often will make it so.

As a side note, much of this could be avoided by cleaning up the mess they’ve created rather than trying to whitewash it. However, the issue is that they can’t backtrack on their mistakes. That would show weakness, and the pride of their sins would have to be crushed. That’s not possible for them to admit. They can’t possibly go back and acknowledge the pain and misery they’ve caused to so many people.

The last point in trying to perform damage control is to improve your Google Review scores. Today, no matter where you are going, you probably check the reviews. These reviews are generally helpful. Most people want to give a fair analysis of their experiences, whether it be a restaurant or a church.

Let’s take a restaurant, for example. If I go to a place and receive good food and good service, it doesn’t mean the food is always good, but if you see enough reviews that indicate the restaurant is good, you can expect it to be good in most cases. Your odds are reasonable; this is a decent restaurant.

If you went to a church and enjoyed the service, experienced friendly people, and what you thought was a good sermon, it is a snapshot in time. It might be a good church, but it doesn’t mean it is. You’ve been given a glimpse of an unrealistic reality. If the people were nice, that doesn’t mean the people are always nice. It also doesn’t mean they aren’t. What you need is more information. What if that great restaurant you love has a bunch of health code violations or gave a bunch of people food poisoning? These may not show up on the review, but if you knew someone from the health department or someone from the health department contacted you to inform you, that might help change your mind. 

A church review is different from a restaurant review. Churches mostly have the same people coming to them. GFC is a small church, so it doesn’t receive visitors that often. What happens when a new face comes into the building? Have you ever heard the term love-bombing? They put their best foot forward and go out of their way to welcome them, and they will probably be invited to lunch after the service so the pastor can ask them how they liked his sermon (no joke).

Can one or two visits be enough to get an accurate understanding of a place? Well, yes and no. When you see signs like love-bombing, you should be aware. It’s good to be friendly, but not too friendly. One way to bolster your rating is to have all the member of GFC write glowing reviews and that is what they have chosen to do. Every review on there is from members less two. .

Certainly, hospitality, friendliness, and open arms are part of what it means to be a church of the Lord Jesus Christ, but that does not mean anything more than being friendly and welcoming. You may get the same treatment at your neighborhood Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Friendliness is not an inoculation against error, authoritarianism, or dozens of other potentially damaging actions.

Lastly, if you want to improve your Google reviews, not only have all your members write really nice things about how great the church is but also remove any negative feedback. That is the strategy they have utilized. Drown out, ignore, or remove dissension, but no matter how hard you try to whitewash your reputation it has a nasty habit of following you wherever you go. The only positive reviews are from the indoctrinated, and if you read them, it will tell you a lot about what you might be in store for if you attended GFC. Lord, help them.

Sadly, GFC continues the path it has been on since Mike Reid became the pastor. By all intents and purposes, he is the Lord of the Flies, and GFC is his kingdom. Perhaps somewhere in his mind, he thinks he’s doing the right thing. Perhaps. However, it’s hard to believe he has missed all the people he has hurt down through the years. Jesus said, by their fruits, you will know them, and for Mike Reid, that fruit looks like it has been trampled and smashed, and I pray nobody else inadvertently stumbles into this place because of the fake reviews.

[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/damage%20control

In Case You Googled Us – A Response

Posted on by kevinjandt

If you insist you are not a cult, there’s a good chance you are a cult. That’s precisely what Grace Fellowship has done in their most recent attempt at answering their critics. As one dear friend pointed out, “Thou dost protest too loudly?” Yes, that is precisely what thou dost. There is no need to go line by line (as they’ve said would be done). Each of the points in their article has been addressed many times, and they have been attested to by multiple witnesses. But just for fun, allow me to make one point.

Here is the quote from the GFC article:

For the first few years after all this commotion began, Grace Fellowship Church made earnest attempts to reach out privately to our accusers to attempt resolution. This included reaching out to former, excommunicated church members (and where applicable, the leadership of their current churches), as well as some of the internet meddlers. In more than one case, we’d even gone so far as to offer to fly pastors of other churches out to meet us—at our own expense—in order to sit down together and examine these matters (see 2LCF, Ch. 26, Par. 15). All such attempts have been rebuffed.

The background is important. I met with Mike Reid multiple times (four to be exact), followed up with an email to confirm my thoughts, and spoke with the elders on one other occasion about legalism and our growing discomfort with the church. Then we left. We left knowing it wasn’t going anywhere. That was obvious. It was apparent to me, my wife, and the countless others who had previously left the church.

We wrote our departure letter and then had a few written exchanges. Within a few days, we were excommunicated for leaving the church. For almost two years, we never publicly criticized them. We didn’t comment on Facebook, nor did I write blog articles naming them. However, I wrote a series on a book called, Churches That Abuse, here. We received more than our fair share of communication from Mike Reid. He sought to reconcile, and we said we would, but I had to understand what it was he was trying to reconcile. He would never say, so we didn’t meet. In July of 2019, we moved to New Mexico. September 30, 2019, I wrote the first article naming them, here. This was over a year and a half after we left.

They say all such attempts (at reconciliation) have been rebuffed.

On December 6th, 2018, I said this in an email.

Mike,

Jen and I have discussed your message, and we are willing to meet.

However, we are not certain we understand what you are wanting to discuss in our meeting. Before we agree to anything, can you please email and tell us what exactly you have in mind to address?

Kevin

He wouldn’t directly answer the question, so we declined. 

I responded to him in an email with this: March 21st, 2021. This provides context as to just how long all this was going on. We sought on numerous occasions to meet with them, but it was always on their terms, and we would not have anything to do with standing in front of a firing squad.

 According to your note, you have made an offer before to meet with the elders of Heritage and us. While this is true, you have failed to mention our offer to meet long before that. I’ve copied our email correspondence if there is any confusion about the time frame the last offer from us took place.

At the very top of the email chain (dated 07 Dec 2018), we offered to meet, and we asked you twice the purpose for our meeting in that text message exchange, but you evaded and avoided the question by continuing to repeat the statement “for my cause in the matter” which in no way indicates the purpose for our meeting. Additionally, we extended an offer previous to that exchange in a letter that I wrote to you (dated 05 Nov 2018), but we didn’t get your response.

I’ve attached both of these documents for all to examine, and I’ve highlighted (07 Dec 18) where I said we would meet or work toward reconciliation and peace; I count 5 or 6 offers in that one exchange. I also pointed out that we need to deal with the root cause of our leaving in that email exchange. I have highlighted some of those crucial elements in these correspondences.

According to your website, gfc still claims to be a Confessional Church, citing the 2nd London Baptist Confession of Faith (gfc’s confession).

In chapter 26, paragraph 15 says this:

Paragraph 15. In cases of difficulties or differences, either in point of doctrine or administration, wherein either the churches in general are concerned, or any one church, in their peace, union, and edification (this applies to us as it relates to you); or any member or members of any church are injured, in or by any proceedings in censures (You censured us by excommunicating us causing injuring to our reputations and future) not agreeable to truth and order (It was an unbiblical excommunication): it is according to the mind of Christ, that many churches holding communion together, do, by their messengers, meet to consider, and give their advice in or about that matter in difference, to be reported to all the churches concerned;29 howbeit these messengers assembled, are not intrusted with any church-power properly so called; or with any jurisdiction over the churches themselves, to exercise any censures either over any churches or persons; or to impose their determination on the churches or officers. 29 Acts 15:2,4,6,22,23,25 30 2 Cor. 1:24; 1 John 4:1

While you have attempted to say that gfc must adjudicate, that is not what the confession teaches.

They have maligned and distorted the truth (some might say bald-faced lies) to suit their own needs more times than I could possibly count, and their whole “non-response” article is loaded with examples of this distortion. I’ve never known of churches to write up something like this, even the most cultish of the cults. Normal places don’t have to defend their practices and then insult others to build themselves up. I have been firm and pointed in my criticisms, that is for sure, but this response tells me they are exactly what they claim not to be (a cult).  But I’ll allow those genuinely seeking both sides to decide for themselves. I’ve linked it here, but I’ve also copied the text below in case they ever remove it.

We recently compiled a list of over 100 names of those who have been spiritually or mentally damaged by Grace Fellowship’s leadership, there are more. These are real people who left the church under duress. We hope and pray they are now in healthy churches. GFC is not a healthy church.

If the leadership of GFC would go back and begin to clean up their messes and repent of their harshness and authoritarianism, to name a few, we would gladly meet with them to discuss all of these things. We would never go back into the lion’s den and stand in front of them all and allow them to abuse us some more. We continue to hope and pray that they will repent of their ways, get right with the people they have hurt, and most of all, get right with the Lord for the damage done to the body of Christ.

Lord have mercy on them.

Kevin

The Grace Fellowship Article – Titled: In Case You Googled Us, linked here: as well as copied below.

Start Here:

Dear Reader,

If you’re reading this page, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ve come across some of the content out on the web containing various accusations made against our church and its leadership over the last several years. It’s also possible that you’ve been visiting our church for a while, and you’ve been sought out via social media by a particular couple who were once members of our church, with the intent to discourage you or scare you away from associating with our church any further. Apparently, in the minds of some, we’re like a cult or something.

While it remains our principled position to limit our interaction with those who revile our church and spread false narratives, we thought it may be helpful to take the time to address a couple things for the benefit of the type of reader described above. 

Why No Public Response?

First, we understand that to some folks the absence of a response from our church to these things over the years could be interpreted as some kind of tacit acknowledgement that the allegations are true, and we have no defense. From time to time, the question arises, “If all of these allegations are false, why doesn’t Grace Fellowship Church respond publicly to all these allegations to clear her name?”

The answer to this is very simple. We do not recognize the court of public opinion to have any authority or standing as relates to adjudicating the affairs of the church. Sadly, in the social media-frenzied age in which we live, the internet is filled with all types of trolls who sit at keyboards all day and think it’s their Christian duty to render an opinion about everything going on under the sun—including giving their opinion on matters of church discipline in churches across the country which they aren’t a part of, involving people whom they’ve never met, and facts that they are in no position to know. Many such people go on to become self-proclaimed “discernment bloggers” who make it their so-called ministry to go around sticking their nose into ecclesiastical affairs they have neither the authority nor the information to adjudicate. They are theological ambulance chasers, hoping to garner attention by “exposing” the evils of this or that church and “protecting God’s people from wolves.” In reality, however, such men don’t know the first thing about caring for God’s sheep or loving the church, and wouldn’t know what a wolf looked like if it was staring at them in the mirror. Truthfully, such men and/or women are nothing but meddlers and busybodies. The Bible has quite a bit to say about these kinds of people, and we would urge the reader to consider this (1 Tim. 5:13, 1 Thes. 4:11, 2 Thes. 3:11, 1 Pet. 4:15, Prov. 20:3, Lev. 19:16).

To summarize, we believe the Scriptures give pretty clear instructions that we are not to feed the trolls. So if you’re waiting for us to give a detailed defense concerning every false allegation, half-truth, twisted truth, one-sided narrative, or flat out lie that’s ever been brought up in a blog or on a podcast about us, we’re afraid you’re just going to have to keep on being disappointed. The internet at large is not owed an explanation or accounting for how a local church conducts its affairs. We maintain that God has given the authority and responsibility to each particular church congregation to adjudicate its own affairs in the fear of the Lord and in obedience to the Scriptures (1 Cor. 5:4-5, 6:1-4. See also 2LCF Ch. 26). Social media keyboard warriors don’t get a seat at the table here, no matter how badly they want it or think they deserve it. That isn’t how church discipline works (see Matt. 18:15-20).

In addition, for our church to offer up our side of the story in each of these cases would require publicly divulging personal details about the lives and conducts of the accusers, which would publicly expose their sins and cast them in a negative light. We are unwilling to do this, even despite their willingness to revile us. We will not return evil for evil in these matters (Rom. 12:17-21). So far as it depends on us, we prayerfully hold out hope in the Lord for reconciliation with the parties involved, and we are perfectly content to wait upon the Lord to do such a work.

As a Reformed Baptist church, we believe in the autonomy and authority of the local church. We believe in the authority of God’s Word. And we believe in the biblical models for conflict resolution, church discipline, and reconciliation. We continue to extend an open, outstretched hand to anyone willing to be reconciled to us, but this reconciliation will only come through the mediation and adjudication of the church, not podcast debates and blog wars.  

Judging a Matter

Second, while we won’t be publishing any sort of response to any of the specific allegations found online concerning our church, we would encourage you to remember that the Bible gives several cautions about judging a matter based on one side of a story (Prov. 18:13, 17, Deut. 13:14). Simply put, dear reader, don’t be so naive as to believe everything you hear or read on the internet. We would invite you to learn about our church and our doctrines by visiting with us, personally, rather than by listening to chopped up, out-of-context audio clips of our pastor pieced together by strangers on the other side of the country, or by listening to long hours of podcasts put together by discernment bloggers giving platform to the grossly exaggerated, one-sided narratives of former members with an obsessive hatred against us. If you think you’re getting an unbiased view of the facts from these sources, then we know a Nigerian prince who would like to talk to you about an inheritance coming your way. 

Why Now? 

After remaining publicly silent about these things for years, some may be wondering why we’ve chosen now as the time to say something. You may also be wondering why you’re detecting a slight touch of sarcasm as you read this. 

For the first few years after all this commotion began, Grace Fellowship Church made earnest attempts to reach out privately to our accusers to attempt resolution. This included reaching out to former, excommunicated church members (and where applicable, the leadership of their current churches), as well as some of the internet meddlers. In more than one case, we’d even gone so far as to offer to fly pastors of other churches out to meet us—at our own expense—in order to sit down together and examine these matters (see 2LCF, Ch. 26, Par. 15). All such attempts have been rebuffed. It’s clear to us that our accusers are only interested in duking it out in a social media cage match, and will entertain no other outcome than the immediate dismemberment and disbanding of our church. 

Perhaps most alarming is the stunning disregard for biblical ecclesiology exhibited by self-promoting internet “pastors” who honestly believe they have the authority to lord over a church hundreds of miles away on the basis of hearsay. We confess boldly in the Lord that such men ought to be ashamed of themselves. 

While our initial disposition was to sincerely, soberly and prayerfully attempt to engage with our accusers, their long track record of hard-hearted indifference for the damage they are doing to the bride of Christ has left us with no reason to take them seriously, and we’ve resolved to obey the apostle’s command to give them no further attention (Tit. 3:10-11). And frankly, the Lord has taught us to laugh a little. He who sits in the heavens laughs at the schemes of the wicked (Ps. 2:4), and we’ve come to learn that sharing in His humor is sometimes the best thing for our souls. While our hearts remain filled with sorrow over the hard realities of persecution and grievous division in Christ’s church, we are confident that the Lord continues to build His church, and His great promise that the gates of hell will not overcome it causes us to remain as cheerful as ever (Matt. 16:18). 

Unfortunately, due to our church’s relatively low internet presence (we have a pretty bland website that rarely gets updated, and we aren’t active on social media), our revilers have been able to do such a bang up job in producing and promoting content against our church that their stuff tends to come up front and center whenever someone Googles our church. We have to give credit where credit is due here. They have soundly beaten us in the SEO game, which means whether we like it or not, visitors and prospective members tend to stumble into this mud regularly, so we have to keep dealing with it. 

In fact, we fully anticipate that even this very writing will be received by our revilers as blood in the water. As soon as they pick up the scent, we expect them to waste no time pouncing on this article, carefully analyzing every word to see what they might use against us. But this does not surprise or dishearten us. It’s the sort of behavior the Scriptures teach us to expect. When Paul warned the Ephesian elders that there would be wolves, he was sure to emphasize that they would be the grievous, savage type (Acts 20:29), not the kind you’d find in a Disney movie. But this article isn’t written for them. Our hope is that this writing might offer the judicious Googler a little insight into our perspective before forming an opinion about us. 

Okay, but Seriously, How Weird are You People?

One of the overarching allegations about our church is that we’re “cultish.” Supposedly we’re all being led astray by a horrible, villainous pastor who rules the church with an iron fist and micromanages every aspect of the personal lives of every congregant. Frankly, as a congregation, we hold these assertions to be—if we may speak so plainly—pretty dumb. We’re certainly prepared to grant that our church is a little weird, but only because we’re black coffee Calvinists, and we still use paper hymnals (campaigns to convince the elders to move to a 1990’s overhead projector have thus far been unsuccessful, but we’re slowly grinding them down). 

In seriousness, we at Grace Fellowship Church take the gospel and the doctrine of the church very seriously, and we do so in an age where these truths are being greatly assaulted even within many evangelical circles. To many Christians, church is a thing you go to on Sunday when you feel like it, rather than something you’re a vital member of (1 Cor. 12:27). To many Christians, being a member of the body of Christ is an ethereal concept, rather than a reality to be lived out in the context of a real life congregation. Many Christians are largely unknown in the churches they attend. Many have never even met the men whom they consider to be their pastors. 

We believe this ought not be so. We take seriously God’s design for individual Christians to be joined to particular churches, to be in fellowship with particular brothers and sisters, and under the pastoral care of particular men appointed by the church as elders. We believe no Christian is meant to live their life in anonymity or seclusion apart from the love, nurture, and fellowship of the local church (Acts 2:41-47, 14:23, 20:28, Rom. 12:4-5, Col. 3:16, Heb. 10:24-25, 13:17).

The difficult thing about real fellowship is that it involves being close enough to people to sin against them and be sinned against. It also means having our own sins exposed. This indeed can be uncomfortable, but we hold that it is simply God’s good design for the continued growth and sanctification of the Christian, as we live out the Christian life together, and God continues his good work of transforming each of us more and more into the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29). The New Testament is filled with exhortations for Christians to forgive one another (Eph. 4:32), bear with one another in love (Col. 3:13), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), to strive for unity (Phil. 1:27), etc. All of these commands presuppose that we’re going to be up in each others’ grill sometimes. And we say, “Amen” to all of it. 

If this sounds cultish to you, then we’re happy to be guilty as charged. But in a world where church life has been largely relegated to a Sunday morning TED Talk, you’ll have to forgive us if we don’t take the charge too seriously. Besides, there are plenty of other Reformed Baptist and even Presbyterian churches with whom we fraternize that receive the same kinds of insults, and we’re pretty content to consider ourselves to be in good company (1 Pet. 5:9).

Fear Not the Chained Lions

In his classic work, The Pilgrim’s Progress, John Bunyan paints a brilliant allegorical picture of the Christian life. One scene in the book has to do with the Christian coming into the church. Following his conversion, Christian (the main character) finds himself ascending a hill called Difficulty. At the top of the hill is a palace called Beautiful (representing the church). As Christian comes to enter the great house, he is met by two lions blocking the way.

“. . .[Christian] made haste and went forward, that if possible he might get lodging there. Now, before he had gone far, he entered into a very narrow passage, which was about a furlong off the porter’s lodge; and looking very narrowly before him as he went, he espied two lions in the way. Now, thought he, I see the dangers that Mistrust and Timorous were driven back by. (The lions were chained, but he saw not the chains.) Then he was afraid, and thought also himself to go back after them, for he thought nothing but death was before him. . . “

Readers have long wondered what exactly Bunyan meant to represent by the imagery of the two lions. Many believe that these represented the powers of civil government and the state church which, in Bunyan’s day, were persecuting Christians to discourage them from joining local churches not sanctioned by the Church of England. Regardless of the specific interpretation, what we know for sure is that these lions represent forces which serve to discourage Christians from joining themselves to Christ’s church. These lions served to scare travelers from going any further, and instead to force them to go back.   

Sadly, we observe that many such lions exist in the world. There are many people—professing Christians, even—who make it their aim to stop people from venturing into the safety and nurture of a local church. Some of these lions come in the form of arrogant internet trolls like the ones we described above. Some of them come in the form of former church members or apostate Christians who through their unbelief and hard-heartedness have given themselves to such disgruntledness that they now make it their life’s work to oppose and ridicule the churches they once called home. Our church is hardly the first to endure this kind of thing, and we won’t be the last.

So we’d leave the reader with this encouragement, from what came next in the story:

“But the porter at the lodge, whose name is Watchful, perceiving that Christian made a halt as if he would go back, cried unto him, saying, “Is your strength so small?” Fear not the lions, for they are chained, and are placed there for trial of faith where it is, and for discovery of those that had none. Keep in the midst of the path, no hurt shall come unto you.”

Whether you end up deciding to visit our church or not, we exhort you in the Lord not to be scared by the lions. Trust in Christ, and join yourself to a local church. Your soul needs it. Don’t let the internet trolls rob you of the nourishment and grace God has for you through the means of the local church. 

The Lord hates a false witness who breathes out lies, and the one who sows discord among brothers (Prov. 6:19). We continue to pray fervently that those who strive to tear apart the body of Christ will be granted repentance. The Husband will not fail to avenge every offense committed against His beloved Bride. Let those who fear the Lord take heed and tremble. 

May the Lord Jesus Christ be glorified through the sanctifying of His people. May His churches be filled. May the earth be filled with the knowledge of His glory as the waters cover the seas. 

May the Lord bless you. 

Warmly and Sincerely, 
The Members of Grace Fellowship Church

May 14, 2024

Churches That Abuse – Part 3

Posted on by kevinjandt

sheep-surprised

Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. – Acts 20:28

Continuing the series on the book Churches That Abuse by Ronald M. Enroth, the focus for this post will build off the previous topic of control-oriented leaders and spiritual elitism.  For leaders to control and foster elitism there must be mechanisms in place by which control can be maintained.  We will consider aggressive shepherding, having a reporting system in place, and rigidity of lifestyle.

In Part 2, I included links for a movement in the 1970’s called the Shepherding Movement. Shepherding is a biblical concept, but over-shepherding is not.  Peter called it “lording over” or domineering.  Ezekiel describes it as harshness and using force:

The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them. – Ezekiel 34:4

Luke writes that men will arise from within the ranks and they will use subtle means to draw people away from the truth (Acts 20:31).

Enroth explains elements often employed by authoritarian leaders to gain control over a group of people:

Spiritually abusive groups routinely use guilt, fear, and intimidation as effective means for controlling their members.  In my opinion, the leaders consciously foster an unhealthy form of dependency, spiritually and interpersonally, by focusing on themes of submission, loyalty, and obedience to those in authority.[1]

 

According to a former member of the shepherding movement, so-called because its members had “shepherds” who require full submission and taught the need for “spiritual authority,” these “leaders” had the true story of what was going on.  Pastors exercised control and manipulation through their sermons.  Certain themes came through regularly: covenant, authority, obedience, submission, serving, honoring… [2]

Systematically arranging the sheep takes time to implement, but through consistent shepherding, sermons, and studies the calculating leader can accomplish his goals given enough time and buy-in from the people.  Scripture will certainly accompany his methods, but it is often twisted and utilized with a desire to accomplish the objective.

It is a difficult job for one or two shepherds to keep the sheep in line, so one of the strategies often implemented is a monitoring system.  Who better to monitor the sheep than the other sheep, or to have the sheep “self-report” through their own public confessions?  To promote holy living and growth, the sheep interact with each other more often than the shepherd does, so reporting on one another is very effective at creating an atmosphere for abuse.  Once again, mutual accountability is a biblical principle, but is a principle that can run amuck in the wrong hands.

Public times of confrontation, confession, and repentance were common, lasting anywhere from four to twenty hours…  The airing of the most intimate details of one’s life was seen as opening the way for God to take one deeper into the spiritual life.[3]

 

The leaders encouraged people, even children, to reveal each other’s faults.  In a world with few material possessions, the most minor flaws became the source of guilt and self-loathing…  It became a community obsession to root out the most minute bit of evil in their lives with a ruthlessness usually reserved for members of restrictive monastic orders.  “It mattered how you acted, how you talked, even how you thought and looked.”[4]

With this type of living and monitoring, one cannot help but be forced into a rigid lifestyle; it’s a very natural outflow.  Everything matters when supposedly striving for holiness and purity of life.  With aggressive shepherding through control-oriented leaders, a spirit of spiritual elitism, and sheep monitoring other sheep, there is no other option but rigidity.  The table is set for the leaders to abuse the sheep and the sheep are not even aware they have been taken in and deceived.  It is no different than boiling a frog.  The heat is gradually turned up, the monitoring system is fully in place, and the shepherd knows the condition of his flocks.

Is this what the Christian life is all about?

These people may feel as though they are free yet are in bondage to a system of legalistic expectations set up and enforced by their leaders and by themselves.  As The Eagles sang, “So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key.”

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. – 2 Corinthians 3:17

Consistent with a number of similar groups, Pam and Tom’s fellowship attempted to live according to “first-century-church” standards.[5]

 

“We became victims of zealousness without knowledge.”[6]

 

As Pam looks back on the experience, she finds it hard to believe that when people called her brainwashed, she took it as a compliment.  “We were blessed to have a clean mind.  But it did reach a point where I didn’t decide things on my own.  Even vacations had to be cleared with leadership.”[7]

Pam and Tom’s experiences became increasingly more bizarre as leaders enforced a more rigid lifestyle the longer things continued.  “There wasn’t one area in our lives where we weren’t legalistic about something.”

Tom reflects, “It seems strange that during our time in the fellowship, you would think that the overwhelming evidence in the New Testament concerning grace would have had some effect upon our minds concerning these rigidities.”[8]

 

In addition, Pam notes, “I lived in fear of correction, while Scripture tells us to embrace and love it.”  Also, many of the rules and regulations were never actually spoken or articulated as a command.  One simply knew from experience that something was a rule, and, if not adhered to, discipline resulted.[9]

When rigid lifestyles and interactions are demanded, any kind of disagreement is suppressed.  It won’t be tolerated, it creates “division” within the ranks, uprisings are quickly dispatched.  “Conscience became externalized” and members are taught to not “trust their feelings, intuition, and emotions.”

“We stifled the voice of God within, mistaking common-sense reactions for the ‘rising up of the flesh.’”[10]

 

Pam knew that even when she desired to stand and say, “This is crazy!” or, “I don’t agree!” she would have been disciplined for disrupting and coming against authority.[11]

Tom Murray gives a final warning: “It is foolish to think that you can remain objective in an abusive-church situation for any length of time without being subtly influenced.  No one can consider themselves above the possibility of deception.”

The only way to avoid this deception and spiritual abuse is through the Word of God and by the Spirit of God.  If you find yourself in an abusive church, you must leave, but it’s never easy, and as I will write about next time, abusive churches are difficult to escape.

 

Kevin

 

[1] Churches That Abuse, 1992 by Ronald M. Enroth – Page 103

[2] Ibid, – Page 107

[3] Ibid – Page 86

[4] Ibid – Page 60

[5] Ibid – Page 128

[6] Ibid – Page 129

[7] Ibid – Page 129

[8] Ibid – Page 130

[9] Ibid – Page 130

[10] Ibid – Page 131

[11] Ibid – Page 131

Discipline…

Posted on by kevinjandt

discipline

What a distasteful subject is the topic of church discipline, does anyone like correction?

Well that depends…

It depends upon the condition of your heart.

Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days. – Proverbs 19:20

Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool. – Proverbs 17:10

A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, nor will he go to the wise. – Proverbs 15:12

How much better to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver. – Proverbs 16:16

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. – Proverbs 13:20

What else must I do to convince you that God’s word is what we must use to gain wisdom? What else matters, and as the verse states above this is better than gold and should be chosen over silver.

God has not left us to stumble around in the dark without counsel. He has spoken on the matter of church discipline and has given the church direction. The scriptures are not silent on this subject, but the bigger questions are these…are we willing to listen, are we willing to heed the counsel?

Jesus clearly and perfectly lays out the formula. The church is to follow the example and sin must be dealt with in the church, or the church becomes polluted.

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.” – Matthew 18:15-17

This is pretty clear isn’t it?

What is the purpose of this; can we see what Jesus desires in this instruction? He desires restoration. The goal is to bring the one in sin to a place of understanding their sin; a place of brokenness over their sin, so they can be restored to their brother.

This is being lived out in the life of the church that I attend. My wife, my eldest daughter and I are members and we dearly love the people in our church. It’s heart breaking to see sin in the lives of people. It’s even more heartbreaking to know that unless that sin is forsaken and turned from it will destroy. That’s what Satan does! He came to destroy people and he does it in the most sinister and deceitful ways possible.

Others in my church love this man and below is a letter that was written as the church is telling this man of his sin. It is our hope and our desire that this will restore the man to a right relationship with God.

It is our desire that if he is a brother, he will confess his sin and forsake his sin, if he is not a brother that he will repent and believe in Jesus Christ as his only hope for salvation. I post this that he will be ashamed of his sin and that others might read it, be ashamed of their sin, and come to repentance.

This problem is rampant in the “church world”. It’s not a victimless crime. It’s heinous and it’s ugly.

And if they are bound in

fetters,

Held in the cords of affliction,

Then He tells them their work

and their transgressions—

That they have acted defiantly.

He also opens their ear to

instruction,

And commands that they turn

from iniquity.

If they obey and serve Him,

They shall spend their days in

prosperity,

And their years in pleasures.

But if they do not obey,

They shall perish by the sword,

And they shall die without

knowledge. – Job 36:8-12

 

Kevin

 

I know a Man…

 

That he might be broken and ashamed:

On nights when he is angry with his wife, she goes to sleep in their bedroom. Meanwhile he sits in his living room, just a few feet from his bride-only a wall apart-browsing depictions of harlots, picking the ones that please him the most, displaying them on his screen and having sex with them using his self. It feels good to him, helps him to relax, so he does it again or another time. He knows it is sinful, but he isn’t broken by it so he doesn’t repent. It’s not really adultery he says. He won’t tell his wife. He knows it’s wrong but he doesn’t feel saddened over it, so he does it again. His only son sleeps soundly upstairs, unharmed so the man thinks. Yet he does not know God may require the life of the child for sin such as this. He took David’s child for this, yet the man fears God not.

He comes into the sanctuary of God’s people on Sunday’s. He will not open his mouth to sing praises to God. But repent- I think not- he just doesn’t feel like it. He won’t look at the preacher, for he despises that man, sure he led him to Christ, but he’s wronged him since then. I want to ask this man, would you pick up a knife and slit the throat of your son for this preacher who wronged you? Would you slay your son for that man who you think despises and rejects you? Have you forgotten o man that God sees your adultery? That this God sees your lack of praise, lack of love for the saints, sees your lack of time in the word, and yet still shows you His love?

God sends His people to plead with the man, turn, turn from your sin, lest the Lord reject you. This God sees your sin- takes His only son- and slays Him. He drains Jesus’ blood on the wastelands, opens His side and rejects Him; Pours out His wrath and His righteous indignation, upon the perfect lamb, the great I am, don’t you remember? Wasn’t it for your sin? Will you continue to reject Him? Christ died for sins, will you continue to live in them?

Some people confront him on his sin when his conscience overbears him to report it. Repent of it- no- but agree that it’s sinful- yes. I’m just being honest says the man, I can’t turn cause you told me, or I don’t want to deny feelings. Little does he know his flesh is destroying him.  He sees his wife and child, and loves them he thinks, but show them Christ in Him-maybe he will get to that next week.

This man is hardened-stiff necked, his sin spreads and spreads. He lives it, breathes it, chews it, and loves it. Love the saints? No time for that. Preach the Gospel? Who needs it. Serve the body? They don’t deserve it. But I deserve my sin says the man, after all, who are they to tell me it’s sinful? The proverbs warn him. Destruction and calamity await him- will he turn yet from his sin? I think not. He just doesn’t feel it…

You are that man… Repent and turn to Christ and you will be forgiven.

 

 

 

Are Your Children Saved?

Posted on by kevinjandt

saved

One of the great tragedies of religion is the failure to identify and deal with the truth of biblical conversion. As I think back to my life before salvation and the different churches I had attended I was never once asked when and how I was saved. I guess it was assumed that being in a church meant I was saved.

Why would this presupposition be any different with children today?

I believe there is major deception among Bible believing churches and church attendees that don’t know how to deal with this subject. I can tell you that I didn’t know how to deal with it.

First of all, I didn’t even know that I wasn’t saved, until my salvation was challenged.   If you’ve ever asked someone about their salvation and they become offended I’d really wonder why? Isn’t this a legitimate question for Believers to ask of one another? Isn’t God brought the glory He deserves when we discuss how He saved someone?

Salvation is a super-natural work of God where He takes a dead, God-hating soul and regenerates that heart into a heart that has all new desires. It’s really here that this topic begins. We must first understand it’s a work of God. In order to be saved we must recognize we need saving.   We were, or still are, spiritually dead.

Ephesians 2:1 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins…

If we don’t understand the significance of this verse, there is no understanding of the doctrine of salvation. Paul is writing to the saints (those set apart for service and worship of God) and he is telling them Christ made them alive. Why? Because they were DEAD!

Secondly, we must understand that God does it.

The prophet Ezekiel wrote about this super-natural work and we can see the purpose and reason behind salvation. Do we benefit from salvation? Most certainly, but is it primarily for our benefit, absolutely not.

Ezekiel 36:22-23   “Therefore say to the house of Israel, ‘Thus says the LORD God: “I do not do this for your sake, O house of Israel, but my My holy name’s sake, which you have profaned among the nations wherever you went. And I will sanctify My great name, which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst; and the nations shall know that I am the LORD,” says the LORD God, “when I am hallowed in you before their eyes.

This is God exalting, pride crushing, man debasing theology at its finest. “IF” you are saved, if your children are saved, it’s by the grace of God to bring Him glory. If you think that your salvation is about you then you need to read this again and humble yourself under the mighty hand of God.

It’s important to quickly note that Israel is not the nation state of Israel. Israel is Believers; God’s chosen people, not just Israelites, although some are included in this group. See Romans 2:28-29, 9:6-13, 1 Kings 19:10-18.

Ezekiel 36:24-25 For I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land. Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols.

Do you recognize your filthiness and your idols? When I think about mine before salvation and what God rescued me from, I’m overcome by the work that God has done in my life. Do you ever look back and think, “that was me, but for the grace of God?” When you go into a large public gathering do you look around and see the idols and the filthiness? Do you ever wonder who will be saved? Does it break your heart for the lost?

Ezekiel 36:26-27 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

Did you have anything to do with your salvation? Did you lead your children in a prayer or manipulate them into asking Jesus into their hearts? This verse could not be any clearer. Jesus affirmed this in John 3 when He challenged Nicodemus with his salvation.

Ezekiel 36:31 Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good; and you will loath yourselves in your own sight, for your iniquities and your abominations.

Jesus said it this way “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 5:3

If you have no recognition of your past, and your offenses against God, if you think that your children are relatively decent or well behaved children, you don’t understand the holiness of God. Without this recognition there is no chance for them to be saved.

God saves those of a humble and broken spirit (Psalm 51, Matthew 5:4, James 4:9). Broken and humbled over their sin and their offenses against a holy God; recognizing their filthiness. This applies to you, it applies to me, and it certainly applies to our children. Jesus told us the path that leads to life is narrow. Salvation is not decisional, it’s recognition of your sin, repenting and living in a manner completely different to which you were.

If we, as parents, can understand the gravity of salvation there is a much better chance for our children to be saved as we accurately present the gospel. In the end there is nothing more important.

Kevin