Faith Beyond Fear – A True Story

Posted on by kevinjandt

In the years since we left Grace Fellowship, I have consulted with many people regarding the topic of spiritual abuse and manipulation. I have spoken to the disenfranchised about this growing problem—good and honest people who have been abused and manipulated.

I have written elsewhere asking the question, ‘Why?’ Why does someone want to control someone else? Especially, in the name of religion? Is God actually in the business of allowing leaders to have complete dominance and control over congregants’ lives? I hope you know that the answer is no. The Bible takes a strong stance against such behavior, yet many still do it. Christianity is about freedom. Freedom from tyranny and freedom from sin. Christ paid the price in full.

Today, I’m presenting a personal testimony from a woman who knows the situation and the people, specifically the leader, Mike Reid, very well. She admittedly had many problems at the time. She was in an abusive relationship. She was using controlled substances to mask the pain. She had suffered severe trauma as an adult and a child. She could have been the ideal target for love and support. The church could have helped her, taken her in, and gotten her on her feet, but, according to her, it didn’t.

She wants to tell her story. She wants people to know the truth about what happened to her, and others will see the reality of the dark side of not only GFC but also other places like it.

Below, I present her story.

———————————

Breaking the Cycle: How I Escaped Control and Found Faith Beyond Fear

By Anonymous Contributor

For most of my life, my family’s story was one of control, silence, and shame. What began as a search for spiritual truth became, for me, a painful lesson in how easily faith can be twisted into something that imprisons rather than heals.

A close family member, once successful in business, reinvented himself as a spiritual leader. His message was persuasive and confident, but his ministry operated through dominance and fear. He demanded obedience, discouraged independent thought, and insisted that anyone who disagreed with his teachings was in rebellion against God.

I watched the same patterns play out within his household. His marriage seemed built on control rather than partnership, and his “conversion” appeared to change only the form—not the intent—of his authority. In religion, he found a new way to command loyalty and admiration.

My own involvement with his congregation came at a time when I was desperate for stability. I was leaving an abusive relationship, struggling with addiction, and navigating the complexities of child-welfare oversight. Instead of being offered compassion, I found myself judged, shamed, and pressured to surrender decisions about my newborn daughter. What was framed as “help” quickly became coercion.

I endured long, intimidating meetings meant to break me down emotionally and spiritually. Every failure was magnified, every attempt to defend myself seen as pride or sin. I felt stripped of dignity and made to believe that I was beyond God’s grace. Even after I completed recovery programs, regained custody of my children, and rebuilt my life, the judgment continued.

Over time, I saw how wealth, image, and power were central to this version of faith. The group attracted families who could support its ambitions, while humility and service were rarely practiced. It became clear that obedience mattered more than compassion, and that anyone who questioned leadership was silenced or shamed.

My story doesn’t begin or end with that experience. I grew up in a family marked by addiction, violence, and abandonment. When I experienced trauma as a teenager, I was blamed instead of protected. That legacy of shame carried into adulthood, shaping the choices I made and the relationships I entered. But healing began when I finally accepted that my worth was not defined by the past—or by anyone else’s judgment.

Through faith, therapy, and the unwavering love of my husband, I began to rebuild. I have been sober for many years, have full custody of my three children, and recently created a stable home where love, not fear, defines our days. My children and I still live with the echoes of trauma, but we are free.

I now understand that true faith brings liberation, not bondage. It offers grace, not condemnation. The message I was once taught to fear has become my greatest comfort: that God’s love is not something we must earn through obedience to another person—it’s something freely given, powerful enough to redeem even the most painful past.

I share my story to give hope to anyone who feels trapped by shame, manipulation, or spiritual control. Healing is possible. Freedom is possible. And no one—no matter how broken they’ve been told they are—is beyond the reach of grace.

————————————-

Thankfully, her story took a different turn, and she has powerfully experienced God’s grace. In our many exchanges, she repeatedly reiterates that she has her life back. She is happily married, has all her children, and is doing well. This still haunts her, and these things bring out the pain, but it is crucial for her to warn others and fight back in a way she couldn’t before.

To explain herself, she told me this, “If I remain silent to the world, then I feel I’m not being the instrument God intended if I keep quiet and allow such veil abuse to be spread using God’s word. I have lived most of my life trying to manage the abuse, be worthy, and be loved. God gave me the strength to come back from death and find love. It took 30+ years, but it happened. I was tested, I made mistakes, I struggled, but God’s love, patience, and grace have carried me into a dream life. I even have the Pickett fence.”

There is another issue she wants to tell people about. It is the problem of multi-generational trauma. The church in Davenport defines things in black-and-white categories: sin or non-sin.  These problems stem from generations of sinful behavior that have been inherited and passed down to children. She believes she has broken the cycle and will continue to break it for her family. It is the thing she desires above all. She wants her story known and heard so that others might be encouraged to break this cycle of abuse. We hope others will see that the grace of God is far bigger than anyone’s manipulation or control. He provides all that is necessary for life and godliness, and those professing religion need to should show their godliness through good works, not manipulation or deceit.

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27

Get Rid of Your Pants

Posted on by kevinjandt

I came across something today that reminded me of certain types of black-and-white thinking. I’ve had an audio recording from a long time ago that I’ve contemplated writing about for just as long. It highlights and summarizes the nature of an extreme fundamentalist school of thought.  

Before I share the nature of this topic, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I want to mention what I saw that triggered my interest in this subject. It’s a school of thought that makes things so much easier in life. If you can tell someone here is the line, don’t cross it, that makes life easier. That’s the way to make Christianity more clearly defined. There are rules. You should know them, and you should live by them.

But is that true?

The majority of these issues stem from this desire to live a holy life. I’m not against a holy life, I don’t believe it’s insignificant. Jesus had a lot to say about sin and holiness.

“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire (Matt 9:42-43).

Our nature is to gravitate toward the law. We are all, naturally, legalists. It’s easier. If women can be taught that they need to get rid of their pants, especially if their husband thinks that’s better than they should, right?

Can you show me where the text says we need to do that?

I saw an interesting Facebook post that featured a picture of a woman’s leg, with lines starting at the ankle and progressively moving up. The post said, if you’re such and such an age, you should wear your skirt here. If you’re younger, you get more leeway, apparently. It was so cringeworthy I couldn’t help but laugh and think about this recording. Okay, it’s not skirt lengths in this, but it’s possibly worse.

Let’s ditch the pants.

In a woman’s bible study, the woman asked if her husband wants her to get rid of her pants, should she? The “leader” quips, “Is your first answer, yes!”

I can’t help but think about the craziness this creates in the church world. It becomes a religion of appearances. Am I suggesting anything goes? No, I’m not. But is holiness defined by externals? That’s what it becomes. We have the opportunity to judge our neighbor by our standards. It really makes us feel good about ourselves when we can see that Mr. and Mrs. So and So are not running their home as well as we are. Now, I feel a lot better about myself. It becomes a heavy burden to bear because I have to work hard to keep up my image.

Some of the comments on the post confirmed the bizarre thinking, except if I go back to my assertion that we are legalists by nature, then it makes sense. If you just tell me where the line is, then I will not cross it. I see it all as a self-defeating religious practice, much like the Pharisees.

And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” (Matt 9:11).

Why indeed?

Having an understanding of decency and decorum is a good and honorable thing. We’ve lost that in our society. We’ve most likely lost it in the church, but there are ditches on both sides of the narrow path. Can’t we find a way to seek to honor the Lord without all the judgment and rule-making?  

Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matt 22:36-39).

Do you want to be a good Christian? It always has been and always will be a religion of the heart, not outward appearances. Love God, love your neighbor, continue to seek the Lord’s will in your life and honor Him. Only Jesus gets to define those standards. If it’s clear in Scripture, then follow it. If not, you are free to make your own decisions.

Enjoy this 3:55 minutes of fun and thank the Lord you are not in a “church” like this one.

Kevin

Have You Tried Forgiveness?

Posted on by kevinjandt

“Have you tried forgiveness?”

I wasn’t expecting that to come from the podcast I listened to. It seemed out of the blue, but there it was. I’ve become a fan of the Shawn Ryan Show, and Shawn asked his guest this question. The man was describing a challenging relationship with his father (Starting around the 52:00 minute mark). The father seemed to use the man for most of his life for his benefit. He always needed confirmation and kept score on the good things he’d done for his son. I’m sure it’s not uncommon.

In religious circles, it happens also. Religious leaders use people for their benefit. The stories are awful about the physical and sexual abuse that runs wild in certain religious circles. There is also the spiritual abuse that seems to be showing up everywhere. Podcasts, books, and blog articles have increased dramatically, seeking to expose the abuse. I’m grateful for those.

When Ryan asked this man about forgiveness, there was an awkward silence. He was thinking about it, but I’m guessing he was also thinking, “No way…. That’s the last thing I want to do.” Being a good host and wise man with experience, Ryan navigated the hesitation with a story about his hurt, and how the abuser sought forgiveness from Shawn. It was liberating, he said. “It was like a weight was removed. I’ll never speak to him again or want to be around him if I can help it, but I’m choosing to forgive.”

Forgiveness is the Christian message.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

Forgiveness, or the other forms of the word, forgive, is used 129 times in the New Testament. Romans 4:7 says, Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven and whose sins are covered.

We all need forgiveness because we’ve all sinned against God, but we’ve also sinned against others. Others have also sinned against us. When we choose to forgive, we are not declaring everything is back to how it was. No, it’s a conscious decision to no longer allow bitterness and pain to rule over you.

I have forgiven those in my past who abused their religious authority over my life and the life of my family. I will, however, continue to expose their evil deeds. That is not an unbiblical thing to do. They have no power over me or my family’s life, and forgiveness is something I have willingly chosen to do so. I have also chosen to hold them accountable for their sins, especially since they continue to do those sins and hurt other people.

Forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness is also liberating. It returns the power to you over those that have done damage. It is the better path to healing and restoration.

May we all seek peace, forgiveness, and uphold righteousness.

Kevin

In Case You Googled Us – A Response

Posted on by kevinjandt

If you insist you are not a cult, there’s a good chance you are a cult. That’s precisely what Grace Fellowship has done in their most recent attempt at answering their critics. As one dear friend pointed out, “Thou dost protest too loudly?” Yes, that is precisely what thou dost. There is no need to go line by line (as they’ve said would be done). Each of the points in their article has been addressed many times, and they have been attested to by multiple witnesses. But just for fun, allow me to make one point.

Here is the quote from the GFC article:

For the first few years after all this commotion began, Grace Fellowship Church made earnest attempts to reach out privately to our accusers to attempt resolution. This included reaching out to former, excommunicated church members (and where applicable, the leadership of their current churches), as well as some of the internet meddlers. In more than one case, we’d even gone so far as to offer to fly pastors of other churches out to meet us—at our own expense—in order to sit down together and examine these matters (see 2LCF, Ch. 26, Par. 15). All such attempts have been rebuffed.

The background is important. I met with Mike Reid multiple times (four to be exact), followed up with an email to confirm my thoughts, and spoke with the elders on one other occasion about legalism and our growing discomfort with the church. Then we left. We left knowing it wasn’t going anywhere. That was obvious. It was apparent to me, my wife, and the countless others who had previously left the church.

We wrote our departure letter and then had a few written exchanges. Within a few days, we were excommunicated for leaving the church. For almost two years, we never publicly criticized them. We didn’t comment on Facebook, nor did I write blog articles naming them. However, I wrote a series on a book called, Churches That Abuse, here. We received more than our fair share of communication from Mike Reid. He sought to reconcile, and we said we would, but I had to understand what it was he was trying to reconcile. He would never say, so we didn’t meet. In July of 2019, we moved to New Mexico. September 30, 2019, I wrote the first article naming them, here. This was over a year and a half after we left.

They say all such attempts (at reconciliation) have been rebuffed.

On December 6th, 2018, I said this in an email.

Mike,

Jen and I have discussed your message, and we are willing to meet.

However, we are not certain we understand what you are wanting to discuss in our meeting. Before we agree to anything, can you please email and tell us what exactly you have in mind to address?

Kevin

He wouldn’t directly answer the question, so we declined. 

I responded to him in an email with this: March 21st, 2021. This provides context as to just how long all this was going on. We sought on numerous occasions to meet with them, but it was always on their terms, and we would not have anything to do with standing in front of a firing squad.

 According to your note, you have made an offer before to meet with the elders of Heritage and us. While this is true, you have failed to mention our offer to meet long before that. I’ve copied our email correspondence if there is any confusion about the time frame the last offer from us took place.

At the very top of the email chain (dated 07 Dec 2018), we offered to meet, and we asked you twice the purpose for our meeting in that text message exchange, but you evaded and avoided the question by continuing to repeat the statement “for my cause in the matter” which in no way indicates the purpose for our meeting. Additionally, we extended an offer previous to that exchange in a letter that I wrote to you (dated 05 Nov 2018), but we didn’t get your response.

I’ve attached both of these documents for all to examine, and I’ve highlighted (07 Dec 18) where I said we would meet or work toward reconciliation and peace; I count 5 or 6 offers in that one exchange. I also pointed out that we need to deal with the root cause of our leaving in that email exchange. I have highlighted some of those crucial elements in these correspondences.

According to your website, gfc still claims to be a Confessional Church, citing the 2nd London Baptist Confession of Faith (gfc’s confession).

In chapter 26, paragraph 15 says this:

Paragraph 15. In cases of difficulties or differences, either in point of doctrine or administration, wherein either the churches in general are concerned, or any one church, in their peace, union, and edification (this applies to us as it relates to you); or any member or members of any church are injured, in or by any proceedings in censures (You censured us by excommunicating us causing injuring to our reputations and future) not agreeable to truth and order (It was an unbiblical excommunication): it is according to the mind of Christ, that many churches holding communion together, do, by their messengers, meet to consider, and give their advice in or about that matter in difference, to be reported to all the churches concerned;29 howbeit these messengers assembled, are not intrusted with any church-power properly so called; or with any jurisdiction over the churches themselves, to exercise any censures either over any churches or persons; or to impose their determination on the churches or officers. 29 Acts 15:2,4,6,22,23,25 30 2 Cor. 1:24; 1 John 4:1

While you have attempted to say that gfc must adjudicate, that is not what the confession teaches.

They have maligned and distorted the truth (some might say bald-faced lies) to suit their own needs more times than I could possibly count, and their whole “non-response” article is loaded with examples of this distortion. I’ve never known of churches to write up something like this, even the most cultish of the cults. Normal places don’t have to defend their practices and then insult others to build themselves up. I have been firm and pointed in my criticisms, that is for sure, but this response tells me they are exactly what they claim not to be (a cult).  But I’ll allow those genuinely seeking both sides to decide for themselves. I’ve linked it here, but I’ve also copied the text below in case they ever remove it.

We recently compiled a list of over 100 names of those who have been spiritually or mentally damaged by Grace Fellowship’s leadership, there are more. These are real people who left the church under duress. We hope and pray they are now in healthy churches. GFC is not a healthy church.

If the leadership of GFC would go back and begin to clean up their messes and repent of their harshness and authoritarianism, to name a few, we would gladly meet with them to discuss all of these things. We would never go back into the lion’s den and stand in front of them all and allow them to abuse us some more. We continue to hope and pray that they will repent of their ways, get right with the people they have hurt, and most of all, get right with the Lord for the damage done to the body of Christ.

Lord have mercy on them.

Kevin

The Grace Fellowship Article – Titled: In Case You Googled Us, linked here: as well as copied below.

Start Here:

Dear Reader,

If you’re reading this page, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ve come across some of the content out on the web containing various accusations made against our church and its leadership over the last several years. It’s also possible that you’ve been visiting our church for a while, and you’ve been sought out via social media by a particular couple who were once members of our church, with the intent to discourage you or scare you away from associating with our church any further. Apparently, in the minds of some, we’re like a cult or something.

While it remains our principled position to limit our interaction with those who revile our church and spread false narratives, we thought it may be helpful to take the time to address a couple things for the benefit of the type of reader described above. 

Why No Public Response?

First, we understand that to some folks the absence of a response from our church to these things over the years could be interpreted as some kind of tacit acknowledgement that the allegations are true, and we have no defense. From time to time, the question arises, “If all of these allegations are false, why doesn’t Grace Fellowship Church respond publicly to all these allegations to clear her name?”

The answer to this is very simple. We do not recognize the court of public opinion to have any authority or standing as relates to adjudicating the affairs of the church. Sadly, in the social media-frenzied age in which we live, the internet is filled with all types of trolls who sit at keyboards all day and think it’s their Christian duty to render an opinion about everything going on under the sun—including giving their opinion on matters of church discipline in churches across the country which they aren’t a part of, involving people whom they’ve never met, and facts that they are in no position to know. Many such people go on to become self-proclaimed “discernment bloggers” who make it their so-called ministry to go around sticking their nose into ecclesiastical affairs they have neither the authority nor the information to adjudicate. They are theological ambulance chasers, hoping to garner attention by “exposing” the evils of this or that church and “protecting God’s people from wolves.” In reality, however, such men don’t know the first thing about caring for God’s sheep or loving the church, and wouldn’t know what a wolf looked like if it was staring at them in the mirror. Truthfully, such men and/or women are nothing but meddlers and busybodies. The Bible has quite a bit to say about these kinds of people, and we would urge the reader to consider this (1 Tim. 5:13, 1 Thes. 4:11, 2 Thes. 3:11, 1 Pet. 4:15, Prov. 20:3, Lev. 19:16).

To summarize, we believe the Scriptures give pretty clear instructions that we are not to feed the trolls. So if you’re waiting for us to give a detailed defense concerning every false allegation, half-truth, twisted truth, one-sided narrative, or flat out lie that’s ever been brought up in a blog or on a podcast about us, we’re afraid you’re just going to have to keep on being disappointed. The internet at large is not owed an explanation or accounting for how a local church conducts its affairs. We maintain that God has given the authority and responsibility to each particular church congregation to adjudicate its own affairs in the fear of the Lord and in obedience to the Scriptures (1 Cor. 5:4-5, 6:1-4. See also 2LCF Ch. 26). Social media keyboard warriors don’t get a seat at the table here, no matter how badly they want it or think they deserve it. That isn’t how church discipline works (see Matt. 18:15-20).

In addition, for our church to offer up our side of the story in each of these cases would require publicly divulging personal details about the lives and conducts of the accusers, which would publicly expose their sins and cast them in a negative light. We are unwilling to do this, even despite their willingness to revile us. We will not return evil for evil in these matters (Rom. 12:17-21). So far as it depends on us, we prayerfully hold out hope in the Lord for reconciliation with the parties involved, and we are perfectly content to wait upon the Lord to do such a work.

As a Reformed Baptist church, we believe in the autonomy and authority of the local church. We believe in the authority of God’s Word. And we believe in the biblical models for conflict resolution, church discipline, and reconciliation. We continue to extend an open, outstretched hand to anyone willing to be reconciled to us, but this reconciliation will only come through the mediation and adjudication of the church, not podcast debates and blog wars.  

Judging a Matter

Second, while we won’t be publishing any sort of response to any of the specific allegations found online concerning our church, we would encourage you to remember that the Bible gives several cautions about judging a matter based on one side of a story (Prov. 18:13, 17, Deut. 13:14). Simply put, dear reader, don’t be so naive as to believe everything you hear or read on the internet. We would invite you to learn about our church and our doctrines by visiting with us, personally, rather than by listening to chopped up, out-of-context audio clips of our pastor pieced together by strangers on the other side of the country, or by listening to long hours of podcasts put together by discernment bloggers giving platform to the grossly exaggerated, one-sided narratives of former members with an obsessive hatred against us. If you think you’re getting an unbiased view of the facts from these sources, then we know a Nigerian prince who would like to talk to you about an inheritance coming your way. 

Why Now? 

After remaining publicly silent about these things for years, some may be wondering why we’ve chosen now as the time to say something. You may also be wondering why you’re detecting a slight touch of sarcasm as you read this. 

For the first few years after all this commotion began, Grace Fellowship Church made earnest attempts to reach out privately to our accusers to attempt resolution. This included reaching out to former, excommunicated church members (and where applicable, the leadership of their current churches), as well as some of the internet meddlers. In more than one case, we’d even gone so far as to offer to fly pastors of other churches out to meet us—at our own expense—in order to sit down together and examine these matters (see 2LCF, Ch. 26, Par. 15). All such attempts have been rebuffed. It’s clear to us that our accusers are only interested in duking it out in a social media cage match, and will entertain no other outcome than the immediate dismemberment and disbanding of our church. 

Perhaps most alarming is the stunning disregard for biblical ecclesiology exhibited by self-promoting internet “pastors” who honestly believe they have the authority to lord over a church hundreds of miles away on the basis of hearsay. We confess boldly in the Lord that such men ought to be ashamed of themselves. 

While our initial disposition was to sincerely, soberly and prayerfully attempt to engage with our accusers, their long track record of hard-hearted indifference for the damage they are doing to the bride of Christ has left us with no reason to take them seriously, and we’ve resolved to obey the apostle’s command to give them no further attention (Tit. 3:10-11). And frankly, the Lord has taught us to laugh a little. He who sits in the heavens laughs at the schemes of the wicked (Ps. 2:4), and we’ve come to learn that sharing in His humor is sometimes the best thing for our souls. While our hearts remain filled with sorrow over the hard realities of persecution and grievous division in Christ’s church, we are confident that the Lord continues to build His church, and His great promise that the gates of hell will not overcome it causes us to remain as cheerful as ever (Matt. 16:18). 

Unfortunately, due to our church’s relatively low internet presence (we have a pretty bland website that rarely gets updated, and we aren’t active on social media), our revilers have been able to do such a bang up job in producing and promoting content against our church that their stuff tends to come up front and center whenever someone Googles our church. We have to give credit where credit is due here. They have soundly beaten us in the SEO game, which means whether we like it or not, visitors and prospective members tend to stumble into this mud regularly, so we have to keep dealing with it. 

In fact, we fully anticipate that even this very writing will be received by our revilers as blood in the water. As soon as they pick up the scent, we expect them to waste no time pouncing on this article, carefully analyzing every word to see what they might use against us. But this does not surprise or dishearten us. It’s the sort of behavior the Scriptures teach us to expect. When Paul warned the Ephesian elders that there would be wolves, he was sure to emphasize that they would be the grievous, savage type (Acts 20:29), not the kind you’d find in a Disney movie. But this article isn’t written for them. Our hope is that this writing might offer the judicious Googler a little insight into our perspective before forming an opinion about us. 

Okay, but Seriously, How Weird are You People?

One of the overarching allegations about our church is that we’re “cultish.” Supposedly we’re all being led astray by a horrible, villainous pastor who rules the church with an iron fist and micromanages every aspect of the personal lives of every congregant. Frankly, as a congregation, we hold these assertions to be—if we may speak so plainly—pretty dumb. We’re certainly prepared to grant that our church is a little weird, but only because we’re black coffee Calvinists, and we still use paper hymnals (campaigns to convince the elders to move to a 1990’s overhead projector have thus far been unsuccessful, but we’re slowly grinding them down). 

In seriousness, we at Grace Fellowship Church take the gospel and the doctrine of the church very seriously, and we do so in an age where these truths are being greatly assaulted even within many evangelical circles. To many Christians, church is a thing you go to on Sunday when you feel like it, rather than something you’re a vital member of (1 Cor. 12:27). To many Christians, being a member of the body of Christ is an ethereal concept, rather than a reality to be lived out in the context of a real life congregation. Many Christians are largely unknown in the churches they attend. Many have never even met the men whom they consider to be their pastors. 

We believe this ought not be so. We take seriously God’s design for individual Christians to be joined to particular churches, to be in fellowship with particular brothers and sisters, and under the pastoral care of particular men appointed by the church as elders. We believe no Christian is meant to live their life in anonymity or seclusion apart from the love, nurture, and fellowship of the local church (Acts 2:41-47, 14:23, 20:28, Rom. 12:4-5, Col. 3:16, Heb. 10:24-25, 13:17).

The difficult thing about real fellowship is that it involves being close enough to people to sin against them and be sinned against. It also means having our own sins exposed. This indeed can be uncomfortable, but we hold that it is simply God’s good design for the continued growth and sanctification of the Christian, as we live out the Christian life together, and God continues his good work of transforming each of us more and more into the image of His Son (Rom. 8:29). The New Testament is filled with exhortations for Christians to forgive one another (Eph. 4:32), bear with one another in love (Col. 3:13), bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2), to strive for unity (Phil. 1:27), etc. All of these commands presuppose that we’re going to be up in each others’ grill sometimes. And we say, “Amen” to all of it. 

If this sounds cultish to you, then we’re happy to be guilty as charged. But in a world where church life has been largely relegated to a Sunday morning TED Talk, you’ll have to forgive us if we don’t take the charge too seriously. Besides, there are plenty of other Reformed Baptist and even Presbyterian churches with whom we fraternize that receive the same kinds of insults, and we’re pretty content to consider ourselves to be in good company (1 Pet. 5:9).

Fear Not the Chained Lions

In his classic work, The Pilgrim’s Progress, John Bunyan paints a brilliant allegorical picture of the Christian life. One scene in the book has to do with the Christian coming into the church. Following his conversion, Christian (the main character) finds himself ascending a hill called Difficulty. At the top of the hill is a palace called Beautiful (representing the church). As Christian comes to enter the great house, he is met by two lions blocking the way.

“. . .[Christian] made haste and went forward, that if possible he might get lodging there. Now, before he had gone far, he entered into a very narrow passage, which was about a furlong off the porter’s lodge; and looking very narrowly before him as he went, he espied two lions in the way. Now, thought he, I see the dangers that Mistrust and Timorous were driven back by. (The lions were chained, but he saw not the chains.) Then he was afraid, and thought also himself to go back after them, for he thought nothing but death was before him. . . “

Readers have long wondered what exactly Bunyan meant to represent by the imagery of the two lions. Many believe that these represented the powers of civil government and the state church which, in Bunyan’s day, were persecuting Christians to discourage them from joining local churches not sanctioned by the Church of England. Regardless of the specific interpretation, what we know for sure is that these lions represent forces which serve to discourage Christians from joining themselves to Christ’s church. These lions served to scare travelers from going any further, and instead to force them to go back.   

Sadly, we observe that many such lions exist in the world. There are many people—professing Christians, even—who make it their aim to stop people from venturing into the safety and nurture of a local church. Some of these lions come in the form of arrogant internet trolls like the ones we described above. Some of them come in the form of former church members or apostate Christians who through their unbelief and hard-heartedness have given themselves to such disgruntledness that they now make it their life’s work to oppose and ridicule the churches they once called home. Our church is hardly the first to endure this kind of thing, and we won’t be the last.

So we’d leave the reader with this encouragement, from what came next in the story:

“But the porter at the lodge, whose name is Watchful, perceiving that Christian made a halt as if he would go back, cried unto him, saying, “Is your strength so small?” Fear not the lions, for they are chained, and are placed there for trial of faith where it is, and for discovery of those that had none. Keep in the midst of the path, no hurt shall come unto you.”

Whether you end up deciding to visit our church or not, we exhort you in the Lord not to be scared by the lions. Trust in Christ, and join yourself to a local church. Your soul needs it. Don’t let the internet trolls rob you of the nourishment and grace God has for you through the means of the local church. 

The Lord hates a false witness who breathes out lies, and the one who sows discord among brothers (Prov. 6:19). We continue to pray fervently that those who strive to tear apart the body of Christ will be granted repentance. The Husband will not fail to avenge every offense committed against His beloved Bride. Let those who fear the Lord take heed and tremble. 

May the Lord Jesus Christ be glorified through the sanctifying of His people. May His churches be filled. May the earth be filled with the knowledge of His glory as the waters cover the seas. 

May the Lord bless you. 

Warmly and Sincerely, 
The Members of Grace Fellowship Church

May 14, 2024

A Response to Ryan Peterson’s Funeral “Sermons”

Posted on by kevinjandt

The word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy, and say to them, even to the shepherds, Thus says the Lord God: Ah, shepherds of Israel who have been feeding yourselves! Should not shepherds feed the sheep? 3 You eat the fat, you clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fat ones, but you do not feed the sheep. 4 The weak you have not strengthened, the sick you have not healed, the injured you have not bound up, the strayed you have not brought back, the lost you have not sought, and with force and harshness you have ruled them (Ezekiel 34:1-4).

This article is a follow-up to my open letter to Ryan Peterson’s friends and family. In that letter, I desired to offer comfort and hope that Ryan’s life was properly and lovingly acknowledged. It is my deepest and most sincere desire to highlight the goodness in Ryan. The goodness that flowed to him through his relationship with his Lord Jesus Christ. Yes, I fully believe Ryan was a Christian, and as I said in my first article, that was not contingent upon his confession of sin or lack thereof but only on the work of Christ.

While I desire to be kind and gracious, what I heard from these funeral messages was grievous and unnecessary. It is the tone and tenor of which these grotesque examples of sermons were preached. It was as if they had no life experience with Ryan and didn’t believe him to be a saved man, although they didn’t dare to come right out and say it. What they did was hint around the topic and leave the audience wondering what egregious sin had taken over Ryan to cause him to end his life.

There was an agenda to this funeral service, and the only desire from those leading was to make their points with as much rigor and demand as they place on the lives of their congregants on a day-in and day-out basis. The Christian life was never designed to be under authoritarian rule. If you picked up anything from those sermons, I trust you saw the authoritarian and hostile environment GFC represents.

God has something to say about those who rule harshly, and the passage above was a firm rebuke to those shepherds of Israel who had a self-focused agenda. The passage needs little to no explanation. As for those who had to endure these sermons, I want to point out a few things about what the passage says: “The weak you have not strengthened (verse 4).” When you went to the funeral of Ryan Peterson, were you weak? Did you feel sick, injured, and lost? Was there a great loss to your soul?

Perhaps you thought you would hear good things about Ryan and his life that would strengthen or lift you, but it didn’t. It only felt condemning and harsh, “with force and harshness, you have ruled them.” What type of encouragement was this, and what was it designed to do, or who was it designed to serve?

Well, it certainly didn’t bring grace to the hearer. Despite Mike Reid mentioning he was a pastor at Grace Fellowship Church, grace was never mentioned again. Grace should have been the central focus; instead, it was sin.

The topic of sin is a popular one at GFC. It is THE topic. A great deal of time and energy is devoted to rooting out the sins of the congregation. This can be done through preaching, as you just experienced, personal interaction with the pastors, or via the admonishments of the other congregants.

It is a difficult society to reside in if you have sin, which we all do (1 John 1:8-9). These sermons were a looking glass into a society that has left countless people on the brink of hopelessness as they continue to muddle through another joyless day. You are only as good as your last interaction. They seem to forget that our worth is in Christ, not in behaviors and actions. Listening to Tyler preach, I wondered the point of bringing up Ryan’s sin and why this was so important.

I hate to refresh your memory on what he said, but this is warped and twisted thinking of a man who should seek to expound the glories of a Savior. Tyler said, “In the last four weeks, there have been hidden sins discovered that Ryan had kept from everyone for quite a long time.” “The weight of unconfessed, hidden sin will destroy anyone.” [1] (30:50).

Then he makes a disclaimer. “If anyone hears this and is shocked, and it makes them think differently about Ryan, it shouldn’t because the Bible says no one is good.”

I wish I could say I don’t understand what he is trying to say. The message here is loud and clear, having spent much time with these people. For the disclaimer’s sake, this is only my opinion, as is the rest of this article, but Ryan’s memory deserves better than this.

In modern parlance, Bolkema is deflecting away from the responsibility they, as “shepherds,” bear. It’s not anyone’s fault, but Ryan’s because of his sin. His sin killed him. He was hiding it, and it destroyed him. It leaves me so empty and hollow inside thinking that this is how they cast dispersion onto Ryan and relieve themselves of any role they may have played in Ryan’s frame of mind, of which nobody truly knows except for him and God.

Here is the problem for them. They have no category for any mental illness, mental collapse, breakdown, depression, or a short-term imbalance in the brain. In GFC theology, the only answer is sin. Studying the brain and the science involved in knowing the countless scenarios that can bring a person to such an end is not a simple, black-or-white solution (See Tony Miano’s post below). It is shameful they said that Ryan decided to abandon his family, but this puts the focus on him and draws it away from them.

As one pastor I spoke to said, “You don’t minister to the living by kicking the dead,” and that is an awful burden for all those who loved Ryan to have to bear. In medical terms, this is a case of malpractice and misconduct. It is a gross case of misdiagnosis. You would think that showing grace, mercy, and compassion to those left behind and an invitation to search out the God that sent His Son to die for sinners might offer a more compassionate approach. Still, you have Mike Reid preaching the message he has preached for fifteen years: sin, judgment, and condemnation.

Who preaches a message like this, at a funeral no less, without believing these people need to be clubbed over the head rather than shown that Christ is a loving God that offers forgiveness from sin and rest from a weary world? Can the message of salvation be preached without berating and belittling?

Why can’t they say that we know Ryan was struggling, but we saw evidence of faith in his life, and we have complete confidence that he’s with the Lord?

Why?

Because sin is so important to their theology, Forty-one (41) times, Reid says the word sin or a derivation of the word in his “sermon,” now, to be fair, about six (6) of those discuss Christ as not having been a sinner, but that is still thirty-five (35) times he is discussing sin. He also uses the word wrath fourteen (14) times, condemn or condemned nine (9) times, and judgment four (4) times.  And keep in mind this was only a 15-minute sermon.

In contrast, he only mentions grace when he states he’s a pastor at Grace Fellowship Church. He uses the word mercy three (3) times (outside of the song they sing at the end), and forgiveness is only mentioned once. He uses the word love three times in the context of God’s love.  

This imbalance could not be more obvious. If I went back through all the years of Reid’s preaching nothing has changed. The imbalance here is unbearable and the primary reason we left and so many others left through the years.

In his excellent work, The Whole Christ, Sinclair Ferguson writes, “In essence [legalism] it is any teaching that diminishes or distorts the generous love of God and the full freeness of his grace. It then distorts God’s graciousness revealed in his law and fails to see law set within its proper context in redemptive history as an expression of a gracious Father. This is the nature of legalism. Indeed we might say these are the natures of legalism.” [2]

In one sentence, Ferguson mentions grace three times. The gospel is good news, but one would be hard-pressed to walk away from those sermons, having received this as good news. For anyone who would listen, it isn’t easy to endure these men’s preaching, demeanor, and tone, which tragically hinders the good news.

Sinclair Ferguson highlights how important tone can be to preaching, “[T]he same reality was noted in the life and ministry of Robert Murray M’Cheyne. It was perhaps most movingly expressed in a letter that lay unopened on his desk on the day he died at the age of twenty-nine. A correspondent writing to thank him for a sermon he had preached commented that it was not merely what he had said but the manner in which he spoke that had made an indelible impression.” [3]

It is hard to miss the “tone” that emanates out of the mouths of Reid and Bolkema. It rarely, if ever, appeals to the conscience in a way that exudes love, care, and compassion, but its focus is the legal demands of the law and a heavy conviction of sin. That is not to say sin has no bearing on the life of one coming to Christ, but for the ministry of GFC, it is an ever-present formula presented to the congregation in a fire-hose manner.

Someday, I pray they will see the truth of what this place has done to people. They crush the spirit, wound the soul, and feed themselves rather than the people. I can only guess the food they enjoy is their quest for power and dominance. How can I make such a claim? It comes down to my experience, observations, and what the Scriptures teach us. Several key passages show us the evidence of false teaching. Listen to the words of these verses,

Jesus said, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits” (Matt 7:15—16).

False prophets are called wolves, and what do wolves do to sheep, but kill and eat them, and the fruits of their teaching evidence this. I’ve written consistently about the damage done and specifically highlighted testimonies of those damaged through the years.

Yet because of false brothers secretly brought in—who slipped in to spy out our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus, so that they might bring us back into slavery— (Gal 2:4).

False brothers will destroy Christian liberty and freedoms. External appearances will always judge you, and freedom and liberty will be destroyed.

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction (2 Pet. 2:1).

The warnings are abundant, and these people will arise from within Christianity, as Paul also said in Acts 20:28. Again, he says these are wolves, and they will not spare the flock. When the flock is scattered, injured, wounded, and left uncared for, that is evidence of false prophets or wolves. Paul likely had Ezekiel 34 in mind as he said these words to the Ephesian elders.  

The leadership of Grace Fellowship has a long and illustrious track record of this behavior. For those affected by this place, you are left to pick up the pieces, you will someday want answers, and I write as one willing to try and help answer them. Those calls, emails, or messages have, will, and do come. I have responded to many of them, and I pray someday, there will be answers that can help you cope with the damage that has been done.

It is not a healthy environment. It is not a place where you can take rest and comfort. It is rightly called a high-demand group for good reason. They will demand a lot from you, they will take a lot from you, and the only way NOT to be a victim is to speak out. I pray that anyone who reads this will understand my desire to expose such evil and call it what it is.

In Christ’s love, for Christ’s true church.

Kevin

[1] https://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=1113232254135642

[2] Sinclair Ferguson, The Whole Christ, Legalism, Antinomianism, & Gospel Assurance—Why the Marrow Controversy Still Matters, (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2016), 95.

[3] Ibid., 228.