“It doesn’t feel like you love me…”

Posted on by kevinjandt

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“It doesn’t feel like you love me…”

These were the words of my daughter Madeline after being on the receiving end of her father’s instruction and correction.  To put it bluntly she didn’t like it.  How many of us like chastisement?  Especially as adults, when we think we’ve got things figured out.

Proverbs 3:10-11 My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor detest His correction; for whom the LORD love He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.

These words, more often than not, are very difficult to accept, especially if you are in the middle of correction.  I know I don’t like it in most cases, “it doesn’t feel like you love me…” say I.

It’s painful…  Isn’t that the point?

Should the believer enjoy chastisement?

Hebrews 12:7-8 If you endure chastening, God deal with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?  But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.

The word chasten is paideuō – which means to train up a child, that is, educate, or by (implication) discipline (by punishment): chasten (-ise), instruct, learn, teach.

For children, this can mean the rod….  Gasp! Yeah, not culturally relevant but since when has God’s word been culturally relevant?

For adults, this can mean the sword, the word of God (Hebrews 4:12), this is equally unpopular today.  When was the last time another believer came to you and confronted you with sin in your life?  I would say it rarely happens because it’s uncomfortable for the person coming to you, and it’s uncomfortable to the one going to that person.

It’s really tough, yet God’s word is pretty clear isn’t it?

Aren’t we commanded to go to people, or does it say only if it’s a really big sin?

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. 

Jesus also told us to go to them if they’ve sinned – Matthew 18:15 and James affirms this in his epistle James 5:19.

Why is this so unpopular, and if we truly love people wouldn’t we warn them about unhealthy practices in their lives?  Don’t we have warnings on cigarette packages that this is an addictive sin and it could lead to cancer?  Do we condone drinking and driving and just wink and nod if a friend tells us they did that?

We don’t do it very often in the church because we don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, or we don’t want to risk embarrassment, or we most often don’t want to have that person turn on us and get angry.  It’s pretty easy to know why we don’t do it.

Is it loving to confront sin or unloving?  If we really care about people should we tell them they are in sin?

Or is your definition of love that you just look the other way and hope God deals with them?  No!  Believer this is your job.  This is love, but yet to them, “it doesn’t feel like you love me…” as my daughter said.  How can you trust your feelings? (Jeremiah 17:9)  We can only trust the word of God.

This whole topic is very relevant in my life right now and I deeply love someone that I confronted in some sin.  This is not a “10” sin on a scale, but does it matter?  I say that because how much sin do we tolerate?  Do we think for even a moment that the Lord is tolerant of a little sin, and only cares about the big stuff?  Should we REALLY pursue holiness?  Well the scripture tells us without it we won’t see the Lord and along with it we must pursue peace with all people (Hebrews 12:14).  That is peace between man and God.

Did our Lord suffer a brutal punishment; take on the wrath of God, so that we can dabble in a little sin from time to time?  Are we covered by grace?  Well yes, we are but we shouldn’t use this as an opportunity to sin more.  Certainly not!, emphatically says Paul (Romans 6:1).

John Owen writes: Until then (speaking of glorification) believers are ever to be killing sin, or sin will be killing them.”[1]

God’s word has a lot to say on this topic but most people will just gloss over it…and churches certainly won’t preach and teach on it.  “That’s waaaay too offensive and judgmental, besides we don’t even really know them.”

Yes, that is a problem isn’t it?

I want to finish with something that we should all meditate upon and really consider how we love people.  All people, believers and non-believers alike, we must teach them that if we love God we will keep His commandments (John 15:9-10).

Philippians 2:3-4 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.  Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Do you see that when we confront sin, we are looking out for other’s interests?  Can you also see that when we don’t we are being selfish?  We are being selfish because we don’t want to deal with what might come our way.  We are afraid to offend others, to possibly lose relationship with them.

Have you considered that love is an action, not a feeling, and to truly love we must give of ourselves for the benefit of others.  You know like Jesus did… or do we live in fear of how they will react?

That is very real isn’t it?  We don’t fear God enough to risk hurting others feelings.

That is really what it comes down to, and if we love them we must, just like I must discipline my children if I really love them.

We fear men so much, because we fear God so little. One fear cures another. When man’s terror scares you, turn your thoughts to the wrath of God. —William Gurnall

Kevin

[1] Owen, Mortification of Sin in Believers, in Works, 6:9.

Our sinful self…

Posted on by kevinjandt

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For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. – Ephesians 2:8-9

Sin is an ugly thing…  There are no doubts we can see the ugliness of sin in the lives that have been ravaged by its illusion.  The examples abound don’t they; aren’t they everywhere you look?

If you could see the outcome would you make the same decision?

What is sin?  Hamartia (ham-ar-tee’-ah): to miss the mark; to miss or wander from the path of uprightness.

Sin is deceitful and we can quite easily convince ourselves of our own goodness.  It’s easy for me to see how well I’m doing, how “holy” I’m becoming…  Pride goes before destruction… (Proverbs 16:18)

God has provided a way out of sin for His people and we need only embrace them, but there must be effort, there must be a war waged against sin.  The adversary will not give up easily.  Below I’ve highlighted six essentials that are God given defenses in the battle against sin.

The Word

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that they man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

God’s Word is absolutely essential for knowing and understanding God, and what He says about dealing with sin and all things concerning life.  To neglect God’s Word means you will easily succumb to sin.  The Sword is meant to fight off the attacks of the enemy and give us a victory over sin.

The Church

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as we see the day approaching.

The preaching and teaching of God’s Word as we assemble with other Believers is one of the most important avenues to holiness.  Anybody left isolated is easily subject to sin.  Preaching should consistently bring conviction leading to life change.  Do you walk out of your church feeling good about yourself more often than you feel the weight of your sin?  There should be a heavy dose of life saving medicine delivered from the pulpit in a healthy church.

Believers

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.

All Believers are called to be concerned about brothers and sisters in Christ.  We are to have influence and impact in the lives of those near us.   Husband and wives, parents and children, those that we are close to and know their lives.  This is not always popular so the Apostle Paul calls us to do it in gentleness; lest we also be tempted, but yet we are to do it.  Do not neglect this if you truly love them.

Those in Spiritual authority

Hebrews 13:17 Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account.  Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.

This is very challenging for most that profess Christianity.  We naturally rebel against authority and there are so few churches that practice this well.  However, it doesn’t release you from this command.  Did you notice it was a command and not a suggestion?  If the leaders of your church live this out you can be grateful for God’s grace.

The Spirit of God

John 14:15-17 “If you love Me, keep My commandments.  And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.”

The Holy Spirit is consistent in the lives of Believers and will convict of our sins.  The biggest question today is will and do you receive Him when He shows you your sin?  Believers are responsible for sin and God hates sin, so there must be accountability.

Prayer

Romans 12:12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer,

Prayer is our conduit to God.  Without a consistent and willful prayer life we will flounder in this ongoing battle.  Have you ever stopped communicating with your wife?  How does that go for you?  When Jen and I are not communicating I’m proactively creating distance between us.  I may not always do this intentionally but it happens none the less.  It’s unhealthy for our marriage.  Why would we think this is any different with God?  When I’m most vulnerable is when I’m on my knees the least.

I’ve read that the great evangelist Leonard Ravenhill spent hours and hours praying each day.  He spent more time in prayer than he spent preparing for his sermons, and the result of this was an effective ministry for Christ.

“Oh Lord may we be a people broken in our sinfulness and a people that seek You diligently.”

Kevin

Woman

Posted on by kevinjandt

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I had decided I didn’t want to do a whole series on Bonhoeffer’s book The Cost of Discipleship, but there is too much here to not take opportunity to hit on some very relevant topics that can be applied today just as they were when the Lord Himself declared them.  All of these “struggles” or should I say sin issues sometimes ensnare the saints as easily as they ensnare the sinner.

Matthew 5:27-30 “You have heard it that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’  But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.  And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.”

Are you an adulterer?  Have you noticed how impossible it is to live up to the standard that Jesus set for His followers?

This is impossible isn’t it?

Today’s culture certainly makes it as difficult as possible by placing images of sexuality every place the eye looks.  Doesn’t this seem to be harmless enough to lust after a beautiful woman, why would this be equated with adultery?

Lust – epithumeō – to set the heart upon, that is, long for (rightfully or otherwise): – covet, desire, would fain, lust (after).

Bonhoeffer writes – ADHERENCE TO JESUS allows no free rein to desire unless it be accompanied by love.  To follow Jesus means self-renunciation and absolute adherence to him, and therefore a will dominated by lust can never be allowed to do what it likes.  Even momentary desire is a barrier to the following of Jesus, and brings the whole body into hell, making us sell our heavenly birthright for a mess of pottage, and showing we lack faith in him who will reward mortification with joy a hundredfold.  Instead of trusting to the unseen, we prefer the tangible fruits of desire, and so we fall from the path of discipleship and lose touch with Jesus.  Lust is impure because it is unbelief, and therefore it is to be shunned.  No sacrifice is too great if it enables us to conquer a lust which cuts us off from Jesus.  Both eye and hand are less than Christ, and when they are used as the instruments of lust and hinder the whole body from the purity of discipleship, they must be sacrificed for the sake of him.  The gains of lust are trivial compared with the loss it brings-you forfeit your body eternally for the momentary pleasure of eye or hand.  When you have made your eye the instrument of impurity, you cannot see God with it.  Surely, at this point we must make up our minds once and for all whether Jesus means his precepts to be taken literally or figuratively, for here it is a matter of life or death.

Life or death!  Do you believe this?

Will you try and soften this teaching, or find a way to justify your “looks”.  Some will use the argument that this could be “interpreted” in some other way.  Once again the Lord draws a line in the sand to show people their sin and their need for a Savior.  He points it all back toward Himself as the only place of refuge.

The culture we live in today has placed a high priority on prostituting its women.  Even men and fathers that go to places called churches willingly allow their daughters to be the object of lust from men.

Go to a youth group meeting or a church function and look at the attire of these young women.  Does it include the shorts that ride up so high you can see more than necessary?  It’s not just the young women showing too much.  How about the ladies that are revealing themselves below the neckline?  I don’t offer this as a crude response, but for us to consider what we are telling people.  This is commonly accepted in churches and nothing is said or preached from the pulpit.  Why?

If you’ve allowed this in your family I urge you to repent and seek your daughter or wife’s forgiveness.  Then be committed to change, it won’t be easy especially for those that consider this part of the culture acceptable.  As a father of three daughters it’s not easy to find chaste and modest clothing.  We consistently struggle to live in the world but not be of the world (1 Corinthians 5:10).

Will you do something about this in your household?

If Jesus has shown you sin in your life, what can you do about it?  That’s where the act of mortification comes in.  “Cut it off”!  The act of obedience leads to faith.  You can’t have faith without obedience.  In the words of that famous theologian Bob Newhart, “STOP IT”.

Jesus was not really promoting mutilation of our bodies, but was telling us it’s time to take drastic measures.  Stop going to the places that “offend”.  Turn off the television, stop going to R-rated movies, and change your homepage.  Do whatever it takes to turn your eyes from sin.  Place your faith in Christ, turn from sin and be healed.  Stop selling your soul to every woman that walks past you and stop selling your daughter or wife to the gaze of any man that comes along.

 

Kevin

When is it time to leave a church?

Posted on by kevinjandt

I had a conversation with a friend last night and he announced to me he and his wife were leaving our church.  I am grieving this loss and I began to think about why one would leave a fellowship of God’s Church.  There are certainly legitimate reasons to leave which I think primarily revolve around the lack of the gospel or truth.  If this is the case that person should go seek restoration and call leadership to repentance (Matthew 18:15-17) or in the case of a sinning leader scripture speaks clearly how to handle (1 Timothy 5:19).

What if we just don’t like what comes from the leadership?  This really is the point of the rub.  Can we disagree and still be in fellowship?  Can we be like-minded and still have some points of disagreement?  Paul tells us to strive for the unity of the gospel (Philippians 1:27).  This is a major problem, sinful man likes autonomy.  Merriam-Webster defines autonomy as “self-directing freedom and especially moral independence”, we like this don’t we?  Isn’t this what it usually comes down to?  I don’t like to be told what to do, if it disrupts my world-view I would rather rebel than consider my-self directed freedom.  Scripture is full of examples of this.

Matthew 8:19-20 Then a certain scribe came and said to Him, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go.”  And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

Do we understand that following Christ is difficult?  Have we not seen the many examples the Lord Himself has provided.  What about John Chapter 6?  This message was so shocking and so scandalous that Jesus ran them all off, all but the twelve that is.  This shook people to the core.  John 6:61 When Jesus knew in Himself that His disciples complained about this.  He said to them, “Does this offend you?”  verse 66 From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.

But this was Jesus right?  If Jesus was the one getting up and preaching it would be no problem.  If He made challenging demands it would not be an issue.

Hebrews 13:17 Obey those who ruler over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls as those who must give account.  Let them do so with joy and not with grief.  For that would be unprofitable for you.

The writer of Hebrews gives us clear direction that we are to be submissive to leaders in the church.

John MacArthur commenting on this verse:

That God is a God of principle, that God is not a God who says, do your own thing. But God has some very strong and very rigid and very clearly defined standards of behavior…

In order that those who read might understand that joy is produced by obedience. And in order the readers might understand that witness to the world depends upon the consistency of the pattern of their living.

And I want you to notice how this submission is ordered, verse seventeen, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves,” and we’ll stop there. Now here is a responsibility toward God. You say it sounds to me like a responsibility towards some rulers. Yes it is, but the wonderful thing that is evident in this text and evident in other texts in the New Testament is this, that God, now watch it, that God mediates much of His rule in this world through men. God has done that for a long time. Throughout the Old Testament God mediated His rule at times through kings, through prophets, through judges. And in this age God mediates His rule through Spirit-controlled men. Someday God will mediate His rule in the living Christ who sits on the throne of David and rules in the world and the kingdom, right? And He’ll mediate His own kingdom. But at this time God is literally ruling His people through certain Spirit-led men.

These men were ordered of the Spirit of God to have the rule of the church. They do not rule for themselves, they rule in the stead of Christ. They are called undersheperds, and that’s really what I am. That’s what your pastors are, that’s what any pastors are in any given church. So when in seventeen it says obey them that have the rule over you and submit yourselves, the submission here is not really to men but it is to God, as He rules, mediating His rule through Spirit-controlled men. So there were in that assembly, as in all early local churches gifted men, chosen by the Lord, granted to the church to rule.  You can read or listen to the sermon here:  http://www.gty.org/Resources/sermons/1642

Here is the issue.  Pastors and Elders are called to rule well.  Not for their own gain.  Believers are called to submit to them.  This is an act of the will, a decision to do so.  Many will attempt to say I’m submitting myself to God but they won’t submit to men appointed by God.  The truth is they are NOT submitting to God.  This submission thing is a big deal to God.

So what should we do if we disagree?  I’ve already shown above that we are to go to those that we have disagreements with or that have sinned.  Proverbs 1:5-6 A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel.  If we don’t follow this we are doing the opposite.  Proverbs 18:1-2 A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment.  A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.

The issue with my friends was persecution and trials that came from making tough decisions and challenging stances.  Are these sin issues?  They may or not be depending on how they are handled.  This is why one should attain wise counsel.  Didn’t Jesus teach us that persecutions would come when we stood on His truths?

Matthew 5:11-12 “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake.  Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecute the prophets who were before you.  We know Paul affirmed this 2 Timothy 3: 12 Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

Jesus also said we should count the cost.  https://uncommonfaith.org/2012/11/16/count-the-cost/

Is this a salvation issue for my friends?  I hope not but I know the scripture shows them to be in rebellion to God’s Word.  I say that as the most loving thing I can possibly say to them.  They have rebelled against God’s authority through His Church.  Is it time for them to leave?  NO, it’s time for them to talk and work through the issues, not flee.  I hope they will attain wise counsel and search diligently to see if they are in sin.  I hope they will seek restoration.  This is what scripture call them to do.  What is my responsibility?  I must pray for them and I must plead with them to work through this.  If we call ourselves Believers then we have a guide book.  We must use that to seek truth and to seek like-mindedness.  Not because my opinion matters, but because God’s opinion matters.

Kevin

Is your church growing?

Posted on by kevinjandt

A quick note:  Part 2 of Proud to be an American is coming later this week.  You didn’t miss it.

This seems to be a common question in the church world.  I always remember my parents speaking about pastors that would go to conferences and the big question for pastors seems to be “how big is your church?”  The joke was pastors would exaggerate.  The term was “evangelically speaking” we have X amount of people on Sunday morning.

Recently I walked into Starbuck’s and ran into a man that I used to go to church with.  He’s a guy I don’t mind seeing but I probably wouldn’t put much effort into attempting to see him.  The first question out of his mouth was “Where are you going to church?”  I knew this was a loaded question but I told him I’m still going to Grace Fellowship.  “Oh great how’s it going down there?”  Wonderful I told him.

Here it comes….

“Is it growing?”  “I’ve heard a lot of people have left their” Yes it is growing I told him.  “Oh great because I know that the “So and So” family left and a lot of others…. whose still there from the original launch?”  “Well it was nice to see you”

Yes it was God Bless.

So this really had me thinking about what’s the big deal about church growth?  Is it important for pastors to exaggerate how many members or “attendees” they have each week.  If this is the benchmark for success I’d say Joel Osteen is the clear winner.  He’s going to have more crowns than anyone could imagine.  How do we really measure growth?  Mankind cannot read hearts so the only way they can measure success is by numbers.  It kind of makes me think of how the Pharisees and early Jews measured success.  If you had health, wealth and prosperity God had certainly given you His favor.

This all sounded great until that Jesus guy came along.  Seems He turned everything upside down.  His measure of success was the exact opposite of everything they thought.

But many who are first will be last, and the last first.  Matthew 19:30

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Matthew 5:3

For whoever desires to save his life will lose it…  Luke 9:24

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you… Matthew 5:11

But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you… Matthew 5:44

This guy is radical.  Maybe He was having an off day; perhaps He’s better at building a big church.  We know he had a lot of followers.  The crowds were enormous.  There were mobs, “multitudes” the scripture tells us.  More people than could possibly be counted.  He certainly had something great to offer.  After all He was healing them all.  Anyone that came to Him was healed.  Can you imagine how cool that must have been if you were sick.  Incredible!

Then He does something so unusual that the modern day church builders must really scratch their heads and say why?  In John chapter 6 the Lord is giving a sermon for the ages.  Can you even begin to comprehend what it must have been like to hear God Himself proclaim the gospel?  I can’t imagine how incredible that must have been.  But this sermon was different, it rocked their world and it upset the status quo….  “This Guy is out there, He’s just plain wacky.”  “Eat My flesh?”  What?  “Drink My blood?”  “This guy is nuts….”

John 6:66-68 From that time many of His disciples went back and walked with Him no more.  Then Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also want to go away?”  But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” 

There it is church growth 101….  Well okay not exactly.   So how do you measure the success in a church?

2 Peter 3:18 but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  To Him be the glory both now and forever.  Amen.

1 Peter 2:2 as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious.

Ephesians 4:14-15 that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head Christ

Ephesians 4:12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ,

I don’t believe a big church is sinful.  I’ve attended Grace Community Church in California where John MacArthur is the pastor and I know God has numerically blessed that ministry as His word is faithfully taught.  I also don’t believe that a small church that is not growing numerically is a bad thing.

What one must really consider is how are the saints being edified and trained for ministry?  Are you growing in holiness and sanctification?   Are people being saved and lives being changed?  Are you being challenged from the pulpit?  Are you accountable to the leadership and submissive to them?  Do they proclaim the gospel message and does a call to repentance go out consistently?

These are all signs that God is growing His church.

Kevin