A Sure Guide to Heaven – Part 5 – The miseries of the unconverted

Posted on by kevinjandt

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As I continue to study this book by Joseph Alleine, I stand in awe of the power of this man’s words.  These are not the powerful words of a man that talks because he loves the sound of his own voice.  You know the type don’t you?

This is a man that is passionate for unbelievers to see their misery.  I think of the words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:20 Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ as though God were pleading through us:  we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.

He is pleading and begging for them to see their state of unbelief.  Do we do this with the one’s we love?  Do we do this with anyone?  If you are a believer, unbeliever, unsure or unwittingly deceived, I hope you will spend some time and contemplate these words.  Alleine does not rely on his own strength, but the power of God’s Word to convince, rebuke and exhort with all longsuffering those in opposition. (2 Timothy 4:2)

So unspeakably dreadful is the case of every unconverted soul, that I have sometimes thought if I could only convince men that they are still unregenerate, the work were more than half done.  But I find by sad experienced that such a spirit of sloth and slumber possesses the sanctified that, though they are convinced that they are yet unconverted, often they carelessly sit still.  Through the love of sensual pleasure, or the hurry of worldly business, or the noise and clamour of earthly cares and lusts and affections, the voice of conscience is drowned, and men go no farther than some cold wishes and general purposes of repenting and amending.

It is therefore of high necessity that I not only convince men that they are unconverted, but that I also endeavour to bring them to a sense of the fearful misery of this state.  Page 80

But I must proceed, as I am amble, to unfold that misery which, I confess, no tongue can unfold, no heart can sufficiently comprehend.  Know therefore that while you are unconverted: Page 83

1: the infinite God is engaged against you

As much as heaven is above the earth, omnipotence above impotence, so much more terrible is it to fall into the hands of the living God, than into the paws of bears and lions, yea, furies or devils.  God Himself will be your tormentor; your destruction shall come from the presence of the Lord (2 Thess i 9). Page 84

                [1] His face is against you.  ‘The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them’ (Ps xxxiv 16)).

                [2] His heart is against you.  He hates all the workers of iniquity.  Man, does not your heart tremble to think of your being an object of God’s hatred?

                [3] All His attributes are against you.  His justice is like a flaming sword unsheathed against you.  ‘If I whet my glittering sword, and my hand take hold on judgment, I will render vengeance to mine adversaries, and will reward them that hate me;  I will make mine arrows drunk with blood’  (Deut xxxii 41-42).

So exact is justice that it will by no means clear the guilty.  God will not discharge you, He will not hold you guiltless, but will require the whole debt in person from ou, unless you can make a Scripture claim to Christ and His satisfaction.  When the enlightened sinner looks on justice, and sees the balance in which he must be weighed and the sowrd by which he must be executed, he feels an earthquake in his breast; but Satan keeps this out of sight and persuades the soul, while he can, that the Lord is all made upo of mercy, and so lulls it asleep in sin.  Divine justice is exact; it must have satisfaction to the utmost farthing.  It denounces ‘indignation and wrath, tribulation and anguish to every soul that doeth evil’ (Rom ii 8-9). Page 85

The holiness of God is against you.  He is not only angry with you – so He may be with His children – but He has a fixed habitual displeasure against you.  God’s nature is infinitely contrary to sin, and so He cannot delight in a sinner out of Christ.  Page 86

He sees how you will come down mightily in a moment, how you will wring your hands, and tear your hair, and eat your flesh, and gnash your teeth for anguish and astonishment of heart, when you see you are fallen irremediably into the pit of destruction. Page 87

2: The whole creation of God is against you.

The very air would say, ‘Lord, must I give this man breath, to set his tongue against heaven, and scorn Thy people, and vent his pride and wrath, and filthy talk, and belch out oaths and blasphemy against Thee? Page 89

3: Satan has his full power over you.

Not that you intend to do him homage.  They will be ready to defy him, and him that should say so of them; but all this while they serve him, and live under his government.  ‘His servants ye are to whom ye obey’ (Rom vi 16).  O how many then will be found to be the real servants of the devil, who take themselves for no other than the children of God!

If he forbids you to read or pray, you hearken to him, and therefore his servants you are. Page 90

Do you live in the willful practice of any known sin?  Know that you are of the devil.  Do you live in strife, or envy, or malice?  Verily he is your father.  O dreadful case! Page 91

4: The guilt of all your sins lies like a mountain upon you.

However you may make light of it now, you will one day find the guilt of unpardoned sin to be a heavy burden. Page 92

5: Your raging lusts miserably enslave you.

Who would serve such a master, who work is drudgery, whose wages are death? Page 93

6: The furnace of eternal vengeance is heated ready for you.

If the burning furnace heated in Nebuchadnezzar’s fiery rage, when he commanded it to be made seven times hotter, was so fierce as to burn up even those that drew near to throw the three children in, how hot is that burning of the Almighty’s fury!  Surely this is seventy times seven more fierce.

In a word, when the smoke of your torment shall ascend for ever and ever, and you shall have no rest day and night, no rest in your conscience, no ease in your bones; but you shall be an execration and astonishment, and a curse and a reproach, for evermore (Jer xliii 18)? Page 94

7: The law discharges all its threats and curses at you.

Its words are as drawn swords, and as the sharp arrows of the mighty.  It demands satisfaction to the utmost, and cries, Justice! Justice!  It speaks blood, and war, and wounds, and death, against you.

8: The gospel itself binds the sentence of eternal damnation upon you.

Hear the terror of the Lord. ‘He that believeth not shall be damned.’ ‘Except ye repent, ye shall all perish.’  ‘This is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light.’ (MK xvi 16; Lk xiii 3, Jn iii 19). Page 95 & 96

O sinners, do you make light of the wrath to come?  I am sure there is a time coming when you will not make light of it.  Why! The very devils believe and tremble.  What! are you more hardened than they?

Awake! Awake!  O sinner, arise and take your flight.  There is but one door that you may flee by, and that is the narrow door of conversion and the new birth. Page 97

If the Lord has not spoken by me, regard me not; but if it is the very word of God that all this misery lies upon you, what a state you are in! Page 98

Oh, do not then contend with God.  Repent and be converted, so none of this shall come upon you.  ‘Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near.  Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon’ (Is lv 6-7). Page 99

Friends if God does not punish unrighteousness then He is not righteous.  I find much hope in these words and I hope you do as well.  You will either be affirmed or convicted.  Humble yourself today under His mighty hand.

Kevin

Peace with God?

Posted on by kevinjandt

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In 2012 1.5 million people made professions for Christ according to a recent news bulletin I heard recently on WDLM.  This is according to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and it was stated that their new website peace with God.net has convinced this many people to pray a prayer of salvation.

This is a staggering number of people that have been saved.  I couldn’t help but wonder if it’s true.

What I mean is I’m sure the statistics are true, that 1.5 million people actually made this profession but the bottom line is will these 1.5 million people now spend eternity in heaven?  This is what I really wonder.

Matthew 7:13-14 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it.  Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.”

I don’t want to be misunderstood.  If this is true it’s incredible, amazing, and God glorifying news but Jesus teaches us it’s just not that easy.

How many of these will count the cost?  Luke 14:28

How many of these will deny themselves and pick up their cross daily? Luke 9:23

How many of these understood their sin was an offense to God and He poured out His wrath on the Son to pay their penalty?  Matthew 26:42

How many of these understood they need to repent of their sin or that wrath will be poured out on them?  Matthew 4:17

How many of these understood they will suffer persecution for Christ’s sake and they will rejoice in that?  Matthew 5:11-12

How many of these understood they might be separated from their families because of Christ?  Matthew 10:34-39

How many of these understood they WILL lose their life as they know it?  Matthew 10:39

How many of these understand they will be called Satan?  Matthew 10:25

How many of these understand they must be willing to forsake all they have?  Luke 14:33

How many of these understand they must be willing to give away all their worldly possessions?  Luke 18:22

And I just started to talk about what it means to be a true follower of Jesus Christ.  If they desire Christ to make their life easier, or to scratch some itch they have, they’ve come to the wrong place.  I hope I’m wrong about all these people, but experience and more importantly God’s Word tells me I’m not.  Following Christ will cost you everything and those that are truly redeemed willingly and joyfully do so.

Believer I urge you to pray for those today that think they’ve come to know Christ.  I urge you to pray that the Billy Graham Association declares to them the whole counsel of God (Acts 20:27).  God requires His church is pure.  God requires His church is without spot or wrinkle.  God requires that His church is washed through the sanctifying word of truth.  Ephesians 5:25-27

Kevin

I encourage you to watch this short video by Brother Paul Washer as he shares with us the truth of God’s redeeming work.

A Sure Guide to Heaven – Part 4 – The marks of the unconverted

Posted on by kevinjandt

It is with the greatest humility I write this article today.  I’m overcome by God’s grace as I reflect on the person I was before He did the converting work in my life.  I was a wreck and by all appearances to most seemed to be together.  If you ask anyone that knows me personally I can almost be certain they will say that I’m “nice”.  I know lots of nice people in this world and just like many who are nice, that doesn’t get you to Heaven.  In fact so many are deceived in their “niceness” it’s an opiate that can condemn them to hell.   It matters little what people think of your demeanor, it matters eternally what God’s Word says about your heart.

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That is why this chapter is so important.  I was the nicest guy you ever knew that was on a crash course with an eternity of misery, and the church I was attending was holding my hand as they walked me down the wide road that was leading to my destruction.  If you will humbly evaluate your life by the truth of scripture and overlay the words of Joseph Alleine God may show you the “christianity” you think you have may not be the Christianity the Lord Jesus Christ calls us to.

Please join me in this study of “The marks of the unconverted”.  I really appreciate how simply Alleine makes his case.  He is clearly a man that God has blessed to show truth and exposing the hearts of the deceived.

Few will, in words, deny the necessity of the new birth; but they have a self-deluding confidence that the work is not to be done now.  And because they know themselves to be free from that gross hypocrisy which takes up religion merely for a colour to deceive others and for covering wicked designs, they are confident of their sincerity, and do not suspect that more close hypocrisy, in which the greatest danger lies and by which a man deceives his own soul.  But man’s deceitful heart is such a matchless cheat, and self-delusion so reigning and so fatal a disease, that I do not know which is the greater, the difficulty or the necessity of the undeceiving work that I am now upon.  Page 68

This must be premised before we proceed, that it is most certain that men may have a confident persuasion that their hearts and states are good while ye they are unsound.

Who better persuaded of his state than Paul, while he yet remained unconverted? (Rom vii 9).

They that have no better proof than barely a strong persuasion that they are converted, are certainly as yet strangers to conversion.  Page 69

Can you prove your conversion?  Do you know when it happened and your testimony?  Are you certain God did a work in you?  Not your strong persuasions.

Alleine argues there are two types of unconverted, one he says carry the marks on their foreheads and some in their hands, more covertly.  I really like this analogy.  I didn’t have, open in your face, sin leading up to my salvation; I was a sneaky kind of heathen.  I could fool nearly anybody but under that surface of deceit and niceness was anger, bitterness, backbiting and on and on and on…

Those with the marks on their foreheads include what many in the days of this writing were pretty obviously sins.    Alleine is pointing to Ephesians 5:5-6, Revelation 21:8 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived.  Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

Today these aren’t even considered sins that would exclude you from God’s kingdom.

I want to focus my attention on those that sit in churches today and are deceived about their eternal destination.  I think this should be a primary mission field for the 21st Century.  Those, just like me, that are deceived thinking they have it all figured out but lack true conversion.  This chapter is so rich and so heavy with biblical truth I cannot fit it all into this one post, so I will condense them to primarily Alleine’s (12) points and urge you to read this chapter if you read none other in this book.

But I must tell you that there is another sort of unsanctified persons, who carry their mark not in their foreheads but more secretly and covertly.  These frequently deceive themselves and others, and pass for good Christians, when they are all the while unsound at heart.  Many pass undiscovered till death and judgment bring all to light.  These self-deceivers seem to come to heaven’s gate with confidence for their admission, and yet are turned away at last (Mt vii 22).  I beseech you deeply to lay to heart and firmly retain this awakening consideration, that multitudes perish by the hand of some secret sin, that is not only hidden from others, but from want of observing their own hearts, is hidden even from themselves.  A man may be free from open pollutions, and yet die at last by the hand of some unobserved iniquity; and there are these twelve hidden sins, through which should go down by the numbers into the chambers of eternal death.  Page 72

1. Gross willful ignorance (Hos iv 6)

… when they suspect nothing, and do not see the hand that destroys them.  You shall find, whatever excuses you make for ignorance, that it is a soul-ruining evil (Is xxvii 11, 2 Thess I 8; 2 Cor iv 3) Page 73

2. Secret reserves in closing with Christ

They never come to be entirely devoted to Christ, nor to be fully resigned to Him.    Many take Christ thus, and never consider His self-denying terms,nor count the cost; and this error in the foundation mars all, and ruins them forever (Lk xiv 28-33) Page 73

3. Formality in religion

Many rest in the outside of religion and in the external performance of holy duties. Page 73

4. The prevalence of wrong motives in holy duties

Oh how many a poor soul is undone by this, and drops into hell before he discerns his mistake!  He performs his ‘good duties’ and so thinks all is well, but does not perceive that he is actuated by carnal motives all the while. Page 73

5. Trusting in their own righteousness

This is a soul-ruining mischief.  When men trust in their own righteousness they do indeed reject Christ’s

… when a man trusts to these as his righteousness before God, for satisfying His justice, appeasing His wrath, procuring His favour, and obtaining His pardon.  This is to put Christ out of office, and make a Saviour of our own duties and graces.  Page 74 & 75

6. A secret enmity against the strictness of religion

Many moral persons, punctilious in their formal devotions, have yet a bitter enmity against strictness and zeal, and hate the life and power of religion.  They do not like forwardness, nor that men should make such a stir in religion.  They condemn the strictness of religion as singularity, indiscretion, and intemperate zeal, and with them a zealous preacher or fervent Christian is but a wild enthusiast.  These men do not love holiness as holiness (for then they would love the height of holiness), and therefore are undoubtedly rotten at heart, whatever good opinion they have of themselves.  Page 75

7. The resting in a certain degree of religion

When they have so much as will save them, as they suppose, they look no farther, and so show themselves short of true grace, which always sets men aspiring to perfection (Phil iii 13; Prov iv 18).  Page 75

8. The predominant love of the world

Yea, such a power of deceit is there in this sin that many times, when everybody else can see the man’s worldliness and covetousness, he cannot see it himself, but has so many excuses and pretences for his eagerness after the world, that he blinds his own eyes and perishes in self-deceit.   How many professing Christians are there with whom the world has more of their hearts and affections than Christ, ‘who mind earthly thing’, and thereby are evidently after the flesh, and likely to end in destruction (Rom viii 5; Phil iii 19).  Yet ask these men, and they will tell you confidently they prize Christ above all; for they do not see their own earthly-mindedness…  Page 74

… their greatest care and main endeavor are to get and secure the world, which are the certain signs of an unconverted sinner.  Page 74 & 75

9. Reigning malice and envy against those that disrespect them, and are injurious to them

Doubtless, where this evil is kept boiling in the heart, and is not hated, resisted, and mortified, but habitually prevails, that person is in the very gall of bitterness, and in a state of death (Mt xviii 32-35, 1 Jn iii 14-15).  Page 76

10. Unmortified pride

Oh how secretly does this live and reign in many hearts, and they know it not, but are very strangers to themselves (Jn ix 40). Page 76

11. The prevailing love of pleasure

When men give the flesh the liberty that it craves and pamper and please it, and do not deny and restrain it; when their great delight is in gratifying their bellies and pleasing their sense; whatever appearances they may have of religion, all is unsound.  Page 76

12. Carnal security

Or a presumptuous confidence that their condition is already good.  Many cry, ‘Peace and safety’, when sudden destruction is coming upon them. 

Are you at peace?  Show me upon what grounds your peace is maintained.  Is it Scripture peace?  Can you show the distinguishing marks of a sound believer?  Can you evidence that you have something more than any hypocrite in the world ever had?  Page 77

Conclusion

By this time I think I hear my readers crying out, with the disciples, ‘Who then shall be saved?’ 

How few will be the sheep that shall be left, when all these shall be separated and set among the goats

And now, conscience, do your work.  Speak out, and speak home to him that hears or reads these lines.  If you find any of these marks upon him, you must pronounce him utterly unclean.  Do not take a lie into your mouth.  Do not speak peace to him to whom God speaks no peace.  Page 78

Make a mistake here, and you perish.

Go to God to search you and try you, to examine you and prove your reins.  If other helps do not suffice to bring all to an issue, but you are still at a loss, consult some godly and faithful minister or Christian friend.  Do not rest till you have put the business of our eternal welfare out of doubt.  ‘O Searcher of hearts, set this soul searching, and help him in his search.’  Page 79

My dear friends and readers, I couldn’t possibly say this better than Alleine, but I beg you to be honest with yourself.  Repent, fall on the finished work of Christ and be saved if you are under conviction this day.  Do it now while you can.

Kevin

Do you bow your knees?

Posted on by kevinjandt

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Ephesians 3:14-16 For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man…

When’s the last time you bowed your knees to the Lord Jesus Christ?

Is this a spiritual discipline worthy of pursuit?

Is it a requirement for growth?

This is the question that I was faced with recently and something I found myself desiring to rebel against.  I can pray lying in my bed, I can pray driving to work, I can pray doing anything, in fact I’m to pray without ceasing and I can do that almost anywhere and anytime.  Yes, that is true right?

But what is it about humbling yourself and actually climbing out of bed to get down on your knees and seek God in prayer that really focuses your attention?  I agree that it’s not a requirement; we have lots of scriptural examples.  However I want to say this plainly, it should be a regular part of your spiritual life and I mean often.  Why?

Well Paul is telling us why.  “For this reason” is the answer.  That “He” would grant you according to the riches of His glory to be strengthened.  It’s so obvious and it’s so simple that we can easily miss it.  Who doesn’t want to be strengthened in their Christian walk?  Of course we want that but what we really want is for God just to zap us and we be strengthened.  That would be a lot easier.

That’s the problem.  We always want the easy way out.  I don’t want to work at this, it would be really nice if God just took that away from me or if He just gave this to me.  That’s what it really comes down to lack of discipline and spiritual strength.  A lack of “working out your salvation” with what?  Fear and trembling says Paul.

If you would like something from God, according to His will, try spending the next 30 days on your knees each morning right when you get out of bed, seeking Him diligently with fear and trembling, on your knees, in humility.  Today I testify to you that you will have a more peace and strength than you would have ever imagined.

The truths that I know best I have learned on my knees. I never know a thing well, till it is burned into my heart by prayer. —John Bunyan

Kevin

A Sure Guide to Heaven – Part 3 – The necessity of conversion

Posted on by kevinjandt

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

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This statement is every bit as shocking to people today as it was to Nicodemus at the time Jesus spoke these words.  John 3:9 Nicodemus answered and said to Him, “How can these things be?”  Here was a leader of the Jews, a religious man, with lots of training and he missed the simple fact that he needed to be converted to enter the kingdom of God.

Conversion is necessary.  That is exactly what Jesus is telling us today, just as He did when He walked this earth, just as Joseph Alleine is explaining to us in this remarkable third chapter of his book.  There is a “disconnect” among evangelicals today about what it means to be converted.

Conversion is radical and violent.  It comes at a great cost because there is pain involved, pain at the recognition of your sin.  Imagine your heart being ripped out of your insides and being replaced with a new heart.  This is major surgery and without anesthesia.

Ezekiel 36:25-27 Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols.  I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statues, and you will keep My judgments and do them.

The conversion described is not a high attainment of some advanced Christians, but every soul that is saved undergoes this change…

What is it that you count necessary?  Is your bread necessary?  Is your breath necessary?  Then your conversion is much more necessary.  Indeed, this is the one thing necessary.  Your possessions are not necessary; you may sell all for the pearl of great price, and yet be a gainer by the purchase.  Your life is not necessary; you may part with it for Christ, to infinite advantage.   Your reputation is not necessary; you may be reproached for the name of Christ, and yet be happy; yes, you may be much more happy in reproach than in repute.  But your conversion is necessary; your salvation depends upon it; and is it not needful in so important a matter to take care?  On this one point depends your making or marring to all eternity.  But I shall more particularly show the necessity of conversion in five things. Page 50-51

Does this resonate with you today?  If not I plead with you to read it again and meditate on these words.  It is all that really matters.  Your conversion is necessary.

1: Without conversion your being is in vain

Verily you are in vain, except you are for God.  It were better you had no being than not be for Him.  Would you serve your end?  You must repent and be converted; without this you are to no purpose; indeed, to bad purpose. Page 51

Did he really say that?

What a blow to our self esteem…

This is a reality check…

2: Not only man, but the whole visible creation is in vain without conversion

O dreadful thought! That God should build such a world as this, and lay out such infinite power, and wisdom, and goodness thereupon, and all in vain; and that man should be guilty, at last, of robbing and spoiling Him of the glory of all!  O think of this.  While you are unconverted, all the offices of the creatures are in vain to you. Page 54

3: Without conversion your religion is vain

O soul! Do not think when your sins pursue you, that a little praying and reforming your ways will pacify God.  You must being with your heart.  If that is not renewed, you can no more please God than one who, having unspeakably offended you, should bring you the most loathsome thing to pacify you; or having fallen into the mire, should think with his filthy embraces to reconcile you. Page 55

4: Without true conversion your hopes are in vain

The hope of comfort here is vain.  It is not only necessary for the safety, but comfort of your condition, that you be converted.  Without this, you shall not know peace (Is. 59:8) Page 56

Spiritual sloth is but a scurvy in the mind, and carnal security a mortal lethargy. Page 57

Now, to say God is merciful and to hope that He will save us without conversion, is in effect to say, ‘We hope that God will not do as He says.’  We must not set God’s attributes at variance.  God has resolved to glorify His mercy, but not to the prejudice of His truth, as the presumptuous sinner will find to his everlasting sorrow. Page 58

5: Without conversion all that Christ has done and suffered will be, as to you, in vain

That is, it will in no way avail you to salvation.  Many urge this as a sufficient ground for their hope, that Christ died for sinner; but I must tell you, Christ never died to save impenitent and unconverted sinners, so continuing.  A great divine was accustomed in his private dealings with souls to ask two questions.  What has Christ done for you?  What has Christ wrought in you?  Without the application of the Spirit in regeneration, we have no saving interest in the benefits of redemption.  I tell you from the Lord, that Christ Himself cannot save you if you go on in this state. Page 59

It would be dishonourable to God to bestow His choicest riches on them that have more pleasure in their sins than in the heavenly delights that He offers.  God would lose the praise and glory of His grace, if He should cast it away upon them that were not only unworthy but unwilling. Page 61 & 62

Are you unwilling? 

Hear then His own words; ‘Except ye be converted, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven.’  ‘Ye must be born again.’  ‘If I was thee not, thou hast no part in me.’  ‘Except ye repent ye shall perish’ (Mt xviii 3; Jn iii 7; Jn xiii 8; Lk xiii 3).  Page 63

These are powerful words.  Very few preachers say these things anymore because it seems so harsh to the listener.  Yet imagine if your child was playing on the train tracks and a train was coming.  How would you want me to communicate the impending disaster that was coming his way?  Should I do it in a gentle easy tone or scream at the top of my lungs to “GET OUT OF THE WAY!”  So why would those living a life that will condemn them to hell be any different?

If you don’t have testimony of your conversion, maybe you aren’t converted.  Do you know when God removed your heart of stone and placed in you a heart of flesh?  Do you know the day you were born again?  If not do something about that.  I suggest get on your knees and beg Him to show you your sin and then beg for His converting grace.  This is sorrow not to be regretted.

Kevin