“Have you tried forgiveness?”
I wasn’t expecting that to come from the podcast I listened to. It seemed out of the blue, but there it was. I’ve become a fan of the Shawn Ryan Show, and Shawn asked his guest this question. The man was describing a challenging relationship with his father (Starting around the 52:00 minute mark). The father seemed to use the man for most of his life for his benefit. He always needed confirmation and kept score on the good things he’d done for his son. I’m sure it’s not uncommon.
In religious circles, it happens also. Religious leaders use people for their benefit. The stories are awful about the physical and sexual abuse that runs wild in certain religious circles. There is also the spiritual abuse that seems to be showing up everywhere. Podcasts, books, and blog articles have increased dramatically, seeking to expose the abuse. I’m grateful for those.
When Ryan asked this man about forgiveness, there was an awkward silence. He was thinking about it, but I’m guessing he was also thinking, “No way…. That’s the last thing I want to do.” Being a good host and wise man with experience, Ryan navigated the hesitation with a story about his hurt, and how the abuser sought forgiveness from Shawn. It was liberating, he said. “It was like a weight was removed. I’ll never speak to him again or want to be around him if I can help it, but I’m choosing to forgive.”
Forgiveness is the Christian message.
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14
Forgiveness, or the other forms of the word, forgive, is used 129 times in the New Testament. Romans 4:7 says, Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven and whose sins are covered.
We all need forgiveness because we’ve all sinned against God, but we’ve also sinned against others. Others have also sinned against us. When we choose to forgive, we are not declaring everything is back to how it was. No, it’s a conscious decision to no longer allow bitterness and pain to rule over you.
I have forgiven those in my past who abused their religious authority over my life and the life of my family. I will, however, continue to expose their evil deeds. That is not an unbiblical thing to do. They have no power over me or my family’s life, and forgiveness is something I have willingly chosen to do so. I have also chosen to hold them accountable for their sins, especially since they continue to do those sins and hurt other people.
Forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness is also liberating. It returns the power to you over those that have done damage. It is the better path to healing and restoration.
May we all seek peace, forgiveness, and uphold righteousness.
Kevin
Uncommon Faith 