A Wife and a Mother

This past week I took a trip to Phoenix Arizona.  The trip was part business, part visiting my parents and lastly an opportunity to travel with my two oldest daughters.  I also wanted the girls to spend time being involved with what I do for a living.  It is training for them to experience the world and have the opportunity to learn submission for and to their father.

Just like a company has an organization, God also has ordained a proper order.  This in no way reduces or diminishes the role of women but in fact this creates peace and harmony in understanding that we each play a pivotal part in God’s plan.  This is referred to as “Complementarianism” men and women by God’s design are meant to complement one another.  Have you noticed that men and women are not the same?

My job is to train my children (Ephesians 6:4).  I must take God at His Word and not attempt to bend the scripture to fit a postmodern worldview (2 Timothy 2:15).  Rather I must allow the world to be offended and conform to God’s plan.  We know offenses will come and they will not only come from secularists but they will come hard and fast from those professing Christianity.  You tell someone sitting in an average church in America that I would never send my daughter off to college at the age of 18 and they’d think you are nuts.  I think you’d be nuts to do that.  Perhaps I’ll write about that in a future post.

Just the other day I was asked by a friend in an email how the trip went.  I’ve recently started having conversations with this man as he is beginning to explore Christianity.  He asked me what the girls want to do later in life.  This is a pretty big question and I really like that he asked me this.   I could probably have said just about anything that would have been easy, it would have been simple to hide in the tall grass.

I decided I would be completely transparent.

I thought the best thing I could do is simply copy the email I sent.  I’ve decided I will let it stand on its own merits as I originally wrote it, except for fixing a couple typos.

As for later in life that is a great question.  I guess I’ll share my thoughts, although they may seem very crazy to you.  Grace is 13 and Madeline is 11.  This year Grace was baptized at our church.  We believe baptism to be a public profession of faith and one of the sacraments one takes once God has redeemed them and changed their heart.  We began seeing some major changes in Grace’s life this summer as she was absorbing the sermons at our church.  We believe she came to an understanding that her sins had her separated from God and the only way to remedy that enmity with God is through confession and repentance of sin.  Repentance is not only understanding of sin but a complete turn of direction (Psalm 51).  You now hate what you once loved.  The scripture teaches us that this is a supernatural work of God.  You can read Ephesians chapters 1-2 for a great description of this.   The prophet Ezekiel also speaks of this supernatural work in Ezekiel 11:19-21.  This is more than “saying a prayer” or “accepting Jesus”.  This is a work of God through regeneration and the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit which produces a desire to live a life of obedience to God’s Word.

If we discern a change in someone then they meet with the pastor and elders of our church to see if they think there has been a change.  We believe this to be the case in Grace’s life.

As we desire to live according to God’s Word it then becomes clear as to how I need to lead and protect my family.  So my desire is to provide for and protect my daughter’s until they are ready to marry a believing husband.  How this looks practically is that Grace will live under my roof and if a young man has interest in her he will need to come to me someday if he has a desire to court my daughter.  All will be done under my protection and supervision.  In short my job is to present my daughter as a virgin to her husband and then transfer the responsibility of shepherding to him.  Her desire is to live as a godly woman and wife.  Scripture clearly models that the woman’s role is to be a helper made suitable to man (Genesis 2:18), to be worker’s at home (Ephesians 2:4-5), to desire to do good for her husband (Proverbs 31:11-12), that she manages her household (Proverbs 31:27).

So Grace has a desire to be a wife and a mother.  Madeline is unsaved so my job is to preach the gospel to her.  With Grace I mentor and instruct her in the ways of God.  We are currently going through a book by Voddie Baucham called “What he must be if he wants to marry my daughter”.

I understand that by now your mouth is probably dropped to the floor and you are possibly thinking, “man this dude is wacky” and I would agree that most people think that.  Why would you not send a girl off to college to get educated and have a fulfilling career, simply because God’s Word does not affirm for us to do that?   I believe I sent you Pastor Voddie’s sermon on biblical manhood, and he also does biblical womanhood.

I can only give testimony of how much peace and incredible grace God has poured into my life and my families’ lives as we’ve begun to embrace God’s plan.  Sorry to get so long winded on this but I felt I needed to give it a thorough explanation.



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